on request: Ornamental fowls

Good Mr Schprock asked me about what ornamental fowls were. I am not a specialist - I am unsure if I wish I were....

We started keeping hens for the eggs and a rooster for the hens. I know that today eggs are produced in big factories and I assume most of the hens have never seen a rooster in their whole miserable life. If you have not YET watched The meatrix, I command thee to do so.

* * *

Welcome back.

Feeling any better?

The notion that 'our bodies are what we eat' is beyond question for me. It's not that I always eat organic, but I strive to eat healthy. But let's go back to the animals.

We started keeping old species for they are supposed to be sturdier and although they produce less (either in meat or in eggs), they are easier to keep.

For those who are a bit unfamiliar with hens, according to the terminology of meat industry, there are meat-type, laying-type, and double purpose varieties. And there are the old ones (the traditional species) and the ornamental types.

Here comes a brief history of our stock:

Our flock is quite mixed. We started with 4 Transylvanian Turkens (aka Naked Necked). 3 hens and a rooster. Since the neighbours complained for the noise, we had to give the 'old' rooster away. So, a Japanese pair joined us - a hen and a rooster. Later on, we bought 2 meat-type hens. Unfortunately, due to a repeated attack from a mart, three hens and two chicks died. And finally, we switched the Japanese roo for a nice Hungarian Barred one. With him, we also bought a nice black hen. And just recently, we have bought a Satsumadori hen. Now there are 5 hens and the Roo.

We keep them for the eggs and now (hush!) we are hoping for come hatching to come. It seems that our little Japanese hen has started brooding.

And now let's speak about ornamental animals.

They are kept and bred for their beauty. Usually their use is not that much important. The tendency is high in dog breeding, resulting in some awful, pardon me, beautiful and completely useless, pardon me, totally ridiculous breeds. Breeds that can not be born naturally, can not open their mouth and/or eyes without the surgeon's knife, breeds that are opt to various and sometimes serious diseases just because some lunatic breeder, pardon me, goal-oriented enthusiastic lover of animals has decided that health comes way after looks.

Back to poultry.

Ornamental fowl include, but not limited to pheasants and swans - if you think of very large, well designed and kept gardens. Acres of carefully managed green grass, bushes and trees for the ecosystem, spotted with these wonderful, really big birds... Oh, yes.

But for those who do not own a manor, there is the chance of keeping smaller beauties.

I'm sure the Internet is fully loaded with the pictures of them. I suggest reading Feathersite, where ornamental hens are listed alphabetically.

Here comes a selection of photos I found the most beautiful. All photos are from Feathersite.

The first two pictures depict Turkens - they are NOT ornamental, but the writer of this blog loves them: Buff coloured Turken chicken. Did you know the breed got its name for people thought they were crossed with Turkeys? The thing is that of course they are NOT. Bare-necked animals are much easier to pluck and they appear to have much fewer feathers in other areas of their bodies, too. The Turkens are fun to watch. Older hens resemble old ladies with a little cap on their wrinkled necks.

Below is a photo of a six-day-old black Turken chicken. The breed originates in Transylvania. We (our family) would like to keep more of these (at present we have only one white hen, called Lepke, Butterfly) - for it is a part of our national heritage. As they are local here in the Carpathian basin, they are accommodated to the special climatic and fodder conditions of the territory. Let's stay with Turkens, but move on to ornamental: Introducing the Frizzle Turken. Frizzle is a quality of feathers. It makes the plumage look like fur. A bit stupid idea, in my book, but they attract many by the visible softness of their outfit. This is a white chicken here. And now here's the Satsumadori, of which breed we also own a hen. We call her Sas (Eagle) -for her looks. This is a flock, with a rooster at 8 o'clock. The rest are hens - although the one at 3 o'clock might be a young cockerel...

Allright, now let's see what else I found appealing:

1.) The Brahmans, oh, well, those enourmous animals. These are HUGE. This is a hen - do I I have to add anything else?

2.) The Sebright - the 'chicken that looks like a dove'. This below is a Silver Sebright. They are pretty creatures with a petite frame. I don't trust them being able to push out an egg of 'legal size', though. They are nice to watch, but I doubt their usefulness. I'm sorry to all Sebright lovers out there...

3.) The Wyandotte - they seem to be a healthy medium, with an average sized body and shape. But the colors! My eyes! they are wonderful. The first is a Columbian - a special coloration.

This is a Golden Laced Wyandotte hen with chickens.

This here is called Silver Laced Wyandotte. A rooster.

And finally, a Brown Porcelain Wyandotte hen with chicks. I love how it resembles some wild animal.

on blogging - a MEME

today I found Anniina's been writing on what generally makes her anxious about blogging.

Although I hardly, if ever have the feeling that 'there's nothing really to blog about today', I know that sometimes it is hard to decide on the extent we let the internet into our private lives and thoughts. What if I write on my everyday issues? How interesting would that be? and ont the other hand; what if my out-of-this-wordly bubblings make me seem like imitating being someone else I'm not? Was this sentence English, for that matter, at all?

Can I communicate through to the kind readers to what I REALLY have in my mind? Do I REALLY want that?

But besides those points, I have to tell you that there are other things I'm worried about - so let's see my bloxiety.

1.) There are times I wish I had noone to look at my virtual diary and there are times I wish there were hundreds of people who would come and observe the things I have. This debate splits me into halves.

2.) Sometimes I worry about the stability of my blog. I have nightmares of my blog vanishing into the cables and becoming a 'once upon a time'...

3.) Sometimes I wish my blog was a printed material so that the reader could turn pages back and forth, and read back as much as s/he wanted...

This anxiety combines with the fear that visitors check the first (or the first two) entries and nothing more. All those other entries, good, inspired, revealing, interesting, boring, nondescript alike are jammed up in some subconscious electric garbage - which it is NOT, for Heaven's sake. There are many times when I got so obsessed with this...but then I calm down, asking myself: how many times do YOU (meaning me, SzélsőFa) have been wandering in the archives of other bloggers?

4.) And last, but not least: why, oh, why on Earth do I write this in English? Do people understand? Have I gone completely mad? Being a conservative? What am I doing?

You know what: Let's make it a meme.

Tell me and the world about YOUR bloxiety. Things that worry you about you writing a blog.

Anyway. This blog is my second home. A nest for the tired.
(photo was made by me in April 2006 in our garden)

preface

This is a preface to the Four Little Prayers for the Vernal Equinox. It used to be in the same entry with the prayers, but it grew out of control. So I copied it here, to a separate entry.

I started writing this series of prayers two weeks ago. I've been wanting* to write a prayer for some time now. I wanted it so much it ached. And I was always deterred by having found the lines I wrote meaningless and lame. Some of you might have read my entry called "The Door is Locked" (it was on February 28, you can find it if you go back to the February archives here) - where I wrote about this block I met. I seriously thought about quitting writing in general, but somehow I did not. Was it a failure? A weakness? A delayed decision? A sign of unworthiness? Mediocricity? I am still unsure as of the value of the things I write.

Weeks passed - and ever since then, from time to time, I got this feeling that I must, MUST write this or that down - whether that something comes out neat and enjoyable, whether it's just bullshit and prancing of words... The same happened to me like two days ago when I saw this photo of Poppy Street (for a more exact location, ask IllMan, Glasgow) ...

On a second thought, I address this to all of you blessed/cursed with graphomania... I don't know whether things written in the spur or those that has been elaborated over and over again are better - chances are that none of them** hits the success or content-meter of yours. Or mine, for that matter.

*I was well taught in English lessons that some English verbs do not, or do not usually have a continuous form. Grammar rules and words are there to bend them according to need. So there.
**referring to things I write
***all photos are taken from the Internet, except the forest one...which I made in March 2004. I tried to fit some of my photos to the other parts, but Blogger had another version of this composition in its mind and ate the photos. So I had to take new ones from the web.

Four Little Prayers for the Vernal Equinox

This little piece is here to celebrate the opening of a new season, namely Spring today.

Four little prayers for the vernal equinox

Part I.
Dawn at the River
Here comes the Sun
And with Him
The Spirit of Spring awakes
I feel its rising with every bud stirred
I embrace the flow
Water, come and be the river of life
For the wise old fairy of decay has gone to sleep
And you, you fill us with hope
Water, nourish my body and my soul

Part II.
Noon by the Fire
Spirit of Warmth, advance
Enkindle us up for production, for creation
For enjoying life
Be with us in every moment
For it's time to outgrow the former skin

Part III.
Dusk on the Meadow
Mother Spirit of Earth, your name is Holy
Bloom in peace
Each and every little achievement of yours is Holy, too
You comprise my brothers and sisters
And I am bound to adore you
Rise Spirit of Earth
Fill us with your abundancy

Part IV.
Night in the Forest
The Spirit of Air
Calls upon the scents of moss and mushrooms
The twigs and bushes are a-waiting to wake up
The Moon looks delighted
I am raised and dissolved
In eternity
In sleep
In constant perception
in constant love

Poppy Street - The beginning

The day she entered the Willows' house broke out cloudless. The sunset started flawless, too, when a thick puff of clouds, seemingly having come out of nowhere were rushing towards the west, as if in a hurried attempt to silence the joyous rays of Sun. By the time the evenings settled in, the sky was darkened by a sudden chunk of fog that creeped upwards, slithering from the nearby river. Mrs Willows was confused at the sudden change in the weather, but then shrugged: 'After all, it's wintertime - what am I to expect? Bright lights and cloudless skies when dimness is yet to come?'

Photo by IllMan

Monday Meme: List of Threes

Coming through Anniina - with my added (re-)marks in different colour!

Three songs you've listened to today
* The Partridge Family - I woke up in love this morning
* KD Lang - Hallelujah
* Harry Potter soundtracks over YouTube
Three colors you love
* Black
* Very dark green
* White
Three names of pets you had as a child OR later on
* Ingrid - albino mouse
* Körte - brown mouse
* Niki - a Gordon Setter bitch
Three people you miss
* my grandmother (she's still alive, though)
* my other grandmother (she's gone)
* my father (he's still alive)
Three places you visited last week
* Tesco
* my son's school
* a village fair with ornamental fowls
Three things you said today (to whom)
* No, it is not raining very hard (to my husband)
* Let me kiss you (to my daughter)
* Be well, feel allright, and behave yourself (to my son)
Three people you kissed OR hugged recently
* husband
* my grandfather, in a deep meditation, he's been dead for 3 years now
* my daughter
Three names starting with "A" in your cellphone
* Anya (Mother)
* Anya Vonalas (Mother's vired phone)
* Apa (Dad)
Three awards received
* Russian translation school award (3rd place as far as I recall, back in highschool's 2nd grade)
* Honorable mention of young director at a county-level film-festival (it was a TRULY AWFUL 3-minute movie, it really, really, really sucked)
* and that's it, I can't think of anything else. I am that mediocre. But I am always lifted by those lovely comments I get from my readers - when I post something worthy of a prize, of course.
Three cool singers
* KD Lang
* Ted Neeley
* Kormorán (I know, I know, it's a group and not a singer, but still...)
Three pet peeves
* Police
* People who want to convert you on the streets, waving Watchtowers into your face
* Cars, careless drivers

The original meme contained 3 names for a boy and 3 names for a girl, but considering I do have a boy and a girl, I'm not looking for any more names...if you get what I mean... *giggles*

And, if you've read it this far, AND are in a mode for some fun "TAG, you're IT!"

Some more comments, by me:

I usually like to listen to music while being at home, but sometimes I value silence more. I have not heard of The Partridge Family before this very day, but it was a pleasant surprise. KDLang is one of my favourite singers, so I simply listen to her like an everyday basis. Harry Potter - well, we are watching the series these days, weeks, months. I like the movie :))

Colors: I like almost any color, except pink and pale and or faded colors.

Pets: I had mice and had lots of it. Lots. And I had one dog.

People I miss: we live far away from those people I mentioned. My non-alive grandmother was so full of energy and sunshine, seemingly worryless strong, yet flexible nature. I do miss her, but I do not wish her to be here. She's gone in a very good way, without suffering...

Visited places: I don't go out to places, these were really hard to compile.

Things I said: hah, yes. I did say that to my son.

Names starting with 'A' - in the Hungarian both words mother and father start with 'a', so there you have it.

Awards: I suffered the most with this. I really can't recall anything else.

Cool singers: I like strong voices. Ted has been performing Jesus's role for ages and I have seen him in a recent show (on YouTube, of course) His passion and devotion still shows and that is highly valuable for me. Kormorán stands up for Hungarian culture and traditional values in the midst of all these mass of violent and international blah-music. Go, Kormoran.

Pet peeves: oh, there are many more, but these are those I came up with for this meme. At the same time I hold no revenge. I hate them but the moment they are out of my vision I'm clear of any negative emotions. At leats this is what I strive for.... :)))

Okay, I stopped. It's your turn.

a short notice on the ides of March

I decided to not go to the Budapest celebration of our 1848/49 revolution. According to the news, many of those who share similar political views with me, have decided to do the same - they celebrated by not attending. Did people think it would be dangerous to go to the streets? Did they fear the terror of the police, were they deterred by the events of the last time people went to streets (October 2006) - I don't know. There were some, who spoiled the official speeches - I understand those. People are fed up with what they in the power do and with what they don't.

Still I don't like that there are strong opinions of what we don't want...AND the views towards what we DO WANT are more scattered. There are various ideas and solutions. Our forces are broken for although we agree that this is not good, there is less concensus re: what IS good.

Above is a picture taken on Kossuth tér (Kossuth Square). This is where the Parliament is and the Holy Crown of the Hungarians is housed, too. This is where the protesting took place in October 2006. The police has built a fence and now it is being demolished. Probably in the hope that there will be peace. I doubt that there will be any. It will either be a mass of silently terrorized dissatisfied people OR a violent outbreak OR both. Pessimistic, me? Whoa? What did you say? Well, I admit that more often than not, I'm pessimistic when it comes to politics.

a new pullet in the henyard

UPDATE:

I'm not planning to visit any of the March 15 celebrations. So, there's no need to worry for me :) But, as everyone will be at home during these 4 days, I might not be able to update and/or check your/my blog(s) for this period. I'm sorry friends. Will be back on 19 March. Be well, God bless you all!

UPDATE 2:

Your Animal Personality

Your Power Animal: Eagle Animal You Were in a Past Life: Whale You are active, a challenger, and optimistic. Hard-working, you are always working towards a set goal.

The Animal Personality Test

UPDATE NUMBER 3 (probably the last one, I promise)

You Were Born Under:

Resourceful and practical, you are a quick thinker. You are very observant - and it's hard to get anything past you! A total perfectionist, you are especially picky about looking your best. You're a big dreamer - such a big dreamer that reality can disappoint you. You are most compatible with an Ox or Snake.

What Year Were You Born Under?

This weekend we attended a village fair for ornamental fowl, including, but not limited to chickens, doves and pigeons, peacocks, ducks and, (behold Anniina!), swans.

We wanted to buy some Naked Necked Transylvanian pullets, but there were not any. We fell in love with a wonderful Light Brahma, which, unfortunately turned out to be a cockerel. Too bad. And, we also fell in love with a Cream Frizzle, which, unfortunately turned out to be a rooster. Too bad we noticed it only AFTER buying it (him), AND taking him home. He got into immediate fight with our fairly enourmous barred Rooster - that's how it became obvious for us that the frizzle baby was a rooster, too.... Oh, my. We had to give him away for friends.

But to be honest, I'm not into frizzles, their plumage is not really normal. We bought him b/c the kids wanted it, especially my daughter. She was so sorry to have it let go.

But what did we get? It is a her, for sure. A Satsumadori at that.

introducing Eagle:

Why Eagle? Because of her body and head. She looks like a bird of prey with her long and lean neck, clean face... Even here eyes resemble those of some predators. I love her.

Here's another photo of 3 of our animals. Study the various types of bodies they have. See Eagle's lean and muscular type, Snowball's thick and meaty type and Roo's average body.

And don't you worry if those breed names tell you ain't no nothing.... I've had no idea some of these breeds were even present in our ecosystem... until this village fair this past Sunday... but if you have experience with any of them, do not fear to share. I'm eagle-r to listen to it.

wow - I am the Sunrise

You Are Sunrise

You enjoy living a slow, fulfilling life. You enjoy living every moment, no matter how ordinary. You are a person of reflection and meditation. You start and end every day by looking inward. Caring and giving, you enjoy making people happy. You're often cooking for friends or buying them gifts. All in all, you know how to love life for what it is - not for how it should be.

What Time Of Day Are You?

how did she know?

Two days ago I was working in the kitchen. My kids were playing in the living room. At one moment I heard Rozi (my daughter, aged 7) laughing. I wanted to find out the reason for her giggles, so I approached them.

Rozi (showing the source of fun to her older brother): Read this and you'll see.

Me (perplexed, for she obviously can NOT read, well a few letters here and there, but...she finds fun in something that needs reading??? - curiosity drew me even closer) .

Rozi (coping with giggles):But see, it reads Ru-ma-ni-ya, but the 'y' has been left out...

Killing our sister

Pre-face: I wrote this on 8-10 March, but the inspiration was deeper within. Everytime I see a tree cut out for no particular reason (building new houses, making a parking lot clear included) I mourn over the loss. We, as many other languages in the world call the ecologically concerned greens. We, probably unlike some other languages have a special term for a special shade of green. Imagine a strong and bright, yet incredibly dark green. We say 'méregzöld', or 'haragoszöld', which literally translates into 'angry green' or 'green with a venom'. We do NOT apply this to angry environmentalists, though. But count me as one.
We all saw it coming
Big house, fancy-house
Lots of expensive architecture
Roll-on grass and sprinkler heads
Comfort and convenience
We all saw it coming
Until just one day
A man climbed up the tree and begun killing it

The tree that used to
Fill the spring air with a heavy scent
It used to caress our eyes with her white and pink blossoms
And also it casted shadow in the mid-summer heat
Supplid us with chestnuts, big and small to gather and treasure and
A kaleidoscopic shower of leaves in the fall
She gave it abundantly, not asking for whom it may concern
She gave herself so generously
For anyone with an eye and a heart to accept

And now she'll be gone
For the men working up on her body are strong and brave
For man is strong and brave
And he who conquers nature is a sure winner
And we, the walkers by just look and look away
Denying our lover and mother

Wouldn't it be wiser to shake that man off the tree
Hey, you're killing me - hear him shouting in frantic
And hey, it's you who're killing me
And my friend, and my mother
Wouldn't it be so wise to do this?
And still we walk away and look away

And it is not that man that does the harm
It is us
For we play safe and kill our sisters and brothers
we kill ourselves

on request..well not really, but I'm sure you'll like it

because you'll see some more photos of Hungarian caves.

The location is Tapolca, a small town living mainly on health and weekend tourism on the Northern side of Lake Balaton. As it is raining today here where I live, let me enthrall you with a photo made by someone on a rainy day at Lake Balaton. Credits go into thin air.

Enjoy the seemingly endless silvery surface and the pattern of coulds above. I wish I was there right now. Is it me, being so obsessed with what I see and imagine here in this picture or you find it just as much amazing, too?

So, the story of the Tapolca cave goes like this: A local man back in 1903 wanted to burrow a well in his property. Surprise, surprise, he found the cave! Let me introduce it to you - with the help of some internet-based material.

The Tapolca cave is about 4 kms long. Some 2,5 kms of it is open for visitors. But here's the twist in the plot, literally speaking :) Visitors go aboard boats! Here's some proof for your inpatient minds:

This is our family, my husband at the oars in a white tshirt, two boys behind (one of them being mine), and at the rear end, in a blue sweater it's me...with my daughter in my leap.

Now, back to some scientific and personal facts:
Although most tunnels are created by the hot water, there are dry parts as well. The wet part is accessible by boats, the fee is not very high. One boat takes 5-6 persons and then off you go into the wild - too bad that the journey does not last more than 25 minutes. You are on your own within and under the Earth - and the water is so mind-blowingly clear - you can see the bottom, which is like 4-5 metres away.... It is said that one species of fish (Phoxinus phoxinus L.) lives here in the cave, mind you, I have not seen any. But I was overwhelmed by the desire to take off my clothes and have a good swimming inside. I did not swim however... I was not alone...

So, the cave is famous for its special climatic conditions. With its relative humidity bordering 100%, and a relatively constant 14-16 degrees centigrade annual temperature the cave is suitable for curing asthma, allergy and other respiratory diseases. One of the braches of the cave has been used as a hospital since 1925. Below is a map of the tunnel system.

Above are other visitors.

The water comes partly from outside and partly from hot springs, which are located 300ms below the surface. This results in a reliably stable water temperature. Be it summer or winter, the water is 19 degrees centigrade.

The water system of the cave, at one part is connected to an 'outside' lake, called Lake Mill (Malom-tó). It's water is just as crystal clear and thus attracts visitors. Below are some duck over Malom-tó.

All photos, except the one that includes me, and that of Lake Balaton were made on 28-30 May, 2006 by me.

dripstones

All the following photos were made on 27 January, 2007. These I reserved for this entry for they all depict dripstones. As you probably know dripstones are in constant formation, they keep growing all the time. Once you touch them the growth is over. Most of them are coloumns, growing from the top (stalactites) or from the bottom (stalagmites) of the cave. Sometimes two coloumns coming from both ways meet somewhere in the middle. Sometimes the rock is formed in a way that the onlooker finds special characters within. As in the photo below, there's a lamb. Can you see it?

The photos below display the same formation. The first photo was made without flashlight.

These are found in the Pálvölgyi barlang in Budapest - see the earlier entries labelled 'cave' for more information. The most famous dripstone formations of the present Hungary however, are found in the Aggtelek Dripstone Cave, in the Northern part of the country. That cave system is part of the World Heritage as defined by the UNESCO. The first link takes you to an English photo gallery - it's worth the trip!

games I play

nothing hidden here... It's an entry about games online, PC or real-life, I like to play. This entry was inspired by Anniina :)

Among real-life games I prefer board games such as Catan and any in this series. I also like Cartagena, which is much simplier and easier to play. What makes them loveable? The ability to grow and excel in certain areas while there is space and potential for the other players to grow themselves also. You might not win, but you do achieve things. It's not like the Hotel, when there's one tyranny who takes it all. I dislike Hotel for being rude and teaching being rude.

And, I do like some chess, although being defeated almost all the time does not make it so compelling...

Among PC-games I like the good old Solitaire and any members of his/her (?) family including the Black Widow and Admiral.

And when I'm in a mood for some online gaming, I usually head for Jay, which is a sort of a riview site for a lot of exciting games. My favourite one of the moment is Sprout, a pleasant and surprising journey where the story unfolds according to your choice. It is a one-time game meaning that once you know the solution playing further is not challenging or really interesting at all. It's like a riddle. Once you solve it it's over. But here, the solving is the fun part. The graphics and the feelings involved make it worthwhile. Of the older games I like the Submachine (the link takes you to the second part, but there is a first and a third and a fourth one as well). With the Submachine I like that there is no violence or competition - you are alone and you have to discover the whole plot.

Also, I like doing the so-called 'escape-from-a-room' games, but I usually can't do them without a walkthrough. I am that stupid. Oh.

And there is another great game site I feed on, where most of the games are similar to those I've just described above.

And yes, motas. I love motas. Most of the levels I did without help. Wow. (for some reason the site is down, but keep trying...)

As in Sprout, your decision triggers the development in almost any of these games - the grow theme now has become a genre among the games.

And no, I'm not turning my blog into a reviewer site. Take it as a small interruption.

I hope you liked it, for playing is an essential part of our life. Without playing, without a playful attitude every now and then, we would dry out like some forgotten plant in a pot.

Your turn: What games do you like to play? Have you tried any of those I mentioned? Which board game will you be playing with me when I visit you/you visit my place?

remembering and getting ready for 15 March

Dear all, first let you all get acquinted with what we, the good Hungarians celebrate on the 15th of March. The Hungarians started the Revolution of Independence against the Habsburg regime in 1848. The ignition probably was Petőfi's reciting his poem called the Nemzeti dal (National Song) in front of the eagerly listening thousands of people in Budapest. The wiki site is somehow against us, Hungarians. Read it with caution. Do not believe everything you read as it is NOT fully correct.

This day is a national rememberance day and a bank holiday also. Its significance has been rising since the last few years of the communist regime - people not only remembered the good patriots of 1848-49, but they gathered to remind each other that there is still a dictatorship over the nation, although it's another one, but still a regime. So, the ever-present oppression bodies of our peaceful national movement (read: the rulers of our country) has almost always considered 15 March as a potential outbreak of another 'action' by the people. Participating on a non-official celebration has always been considered as an act against the actual general governing body of Hungary. Since that is more often than not is opposite to the good future of our nation.

This year, it will surely be something special. And I'm afraid the truth will not be available through the general broadcasting channels. The media will talk about 'violent masses' and unfortunate policemen, and later on about 'brave policemen who saved the streets from the ultra-nationalist mob'. Consider me standing on the mob side and you'll have a glance how fair the media is. K? I'm not telling that there won't be not any unintelligent people included who would be looking for a bit of aggressive fun in the streets - those are always there, regardless of the event. I'm talking about peaceful, repeat peaceful protesting mothers, fathers and families, university students and the general public, who will come and join in the day of 15 March for remembering 1848, Petőfi, the National Song. Of course, those people, including me will be united in the will of becoming free of depression of foreign forces, too. But, isn't a real independence is something that what any country would like and deserve?

Remember the video I posted around 23 October?

My husband met a policeman some days ago. He and my husband talked about politics and the policeman turned out to be a good Hungarian. (good, as opposed to errant, ignorant). The following information are coming from this person:

1.) people at the police are not allowed to go on a holiday around 15 March. Or else, they will be inspected by their own bosses and/or repelled from work. The reason? As it seems, a policeman can not officially belong to the so-called right wing of today's Hungary. The police as a body is faithful to the present Government. No right-wing or national approaches are allowed. Liberal or left? (the so called left, that is!!! Go George Orwell, go!!) - that is allright.

2.) the police did purchased those feared new weapons, which they will clearly use against the people in the street. You know, the mob, like me. (being ironic here)

3.) this policeman has clearly has his votes on the so called national side. He will be forced to fight against his 'brothers'.

I might or might not participate but my heart will be with them.

And here's a beautiful translation of Petőfi's poem by Adam Makkai.

National Song
Rise up, Magyar, the country calls!
It's 'now or never' what fate befalls...
Shall we live as slaves or free men?
That's the question - choose your 'Amen"!
God of Hungarians, we swear unto Thee,
We swear unto Thee - that slaves we shall no longer be!

For up till now we lived like slaves,
Damned lie our forefathers in their graves -
They who lived and died in freedom
Cannot rest in dusts of thraldom.
God of Hungarians, we swear unto Thee,
We swear unto Thee - that slaves we shall no longer be!

A coward and a lowly bastard Is he,
who dares not raise the standard -
He whose wretched life is dearer
Than the country's sacred honor.
God of Hungarians, we swear unto Thee,
We swear unto Thee - that slaves we shall no longer be!

Sabers outshine chaine and fetters,
It's the sword that one's arm betters.
Yet we wear grim chains and shackles.
Swords, slash through damned manacles!
God of Hungarians, we swear unto Thee,
We swear unto Thee - that slaves we shall no longer be!

Magyar's name will tell the story
Worthy of our erstwhile glory we must wash off - fiercely cleansing
Centuries of shame and condensing.
God of Hungarians, we swear unto Thee,
We swear unto Thee - that slaves we shall no longer be!

Where our grave-mounds bulge and huddle
Our grandson will kneel and cuddle,
While in grateful prayer they mention
All our sainted names' ascension.
God of Hungarians, we swear unto Thee,
We swear unto Thee - that slaves we shall no longer be!

(March 13. 1848)

The Door is Locked

I came a long way through the meadow and as I'm finding my way back home...sometimes I feel I've reached a level I'd never dreamed of ever attaining, but sometimes I think I'm way early on my journey..the path I'm treading is welcoming me with glory and hardship alike - but right now the gates to move forwards are closed...

I know there is a road behind and I seem to perceive a faint whisper

but I'm stuck and can not unlock the latch

I've enjoyed this part of the maze but I fear it's a dead-end. A funny, challenging, rewarding and awesome at that, but still - I can't see the way now. Once again I met my limits I assume. I feel compelled to roam and seek elsewhere. The first step will probably be to accept my failure?/limitations?/impatience?

Blesses to you whoever and wherever you are...

black and white

For the lovers of b/w photos here's my tip - if you have not visited it yet

in the meanwhile I'm struggling with some ideas I just can't verbalize

When not working, I keep visiting blog-friends, listening some of my fav musics, and walking in the forest.

The snow that had fallen yesterday has mostly gone... but we had our little time for sliding down in the nearby forest. I, yes, even I slid, emitting various forms of hysterical screams and laughters, oh, my... It's so good that nobody, except my kids has been present....

and to support my love for black and whites, here are two photos... by my son in August, 2006.

weekend's over

This photo goes out to all those lovely blog-friends and other people who have successfully completed that bit-of-funny, bit-of-silly, lots-of-revealing test about me, myself and I. Click on it to enlarge its beauty. I captured this lovely creature on one of our hiking trips in April 2006 in the Matra hills. It just sat there right on the middle of road, soaking the sunshine in.

The below photo was also made on the same trip, near a small river. Somewhere in the middle there is my son. He tried to climb up on one of the trees. He climbs up just about everything he feels he needs to. Coloumns, monuments, hills, doors... When we hike and there's something high within reach one thing's for sure: he's into going up. And most of the times he really does - making some (unwanted) hot moments to all those people around...sometimes he gives it up, sometimes it takes a father-y tone to talk him into NOT-climbing...

But when he's up...I'm proud :)))

Oh yes, we, the family have reunited well. The kids teased each other as usually...The parents worked around the house. I planted 11 Anemone bulbs, but stepped back from the idea of sowing anything. It was way too cold. We loaded some firewood from here to there, made plans for the enlargened hens' running area. We are collecting eggs at the moment and are plannig to buy fertilized eggs to make our hens hatch those. This is our present stock.

From 1 o'clock, clockwise:

Hógolyó (Snow-ball), a young, meat-type hen. She already lays many eggs and has a perfect feather-composition for brooding. It means that she has lots of thick and fine under-feathers. Her body is strong and robust. Lepke (Butterfly), a special Hungarian breed called kopasznyakú (bald-necked?), she's middle aged and lays eggs, too. She is more the sturdy type. At 7 o'clock there's our rooster. He has no name yet, apart from Kakas (Rooster). He is young, too and is a good rooster. He's always looking at things and watches his females. His plumage is called kendermagos (speckled, but literally the name translates to 'covered with hempseeds' - it sounds strange to me). At 9 o'clock there's a very old good brooding Japanese hen called Hajas (Hairy). Her name was given for her having a little cap of black feathers on the top of her head. She has a very fragile body and falls onto the ground every time the Rooster springs on her. We all feel sorry for her for having such a heavy partner... And finally, at the middle of the imaginery clock there is Parázs (Live coal), a middle aged laying-type hen. I think the name speaks for itself. She has a thick body with glowing black plumage, with tan/orange feathers here and there.

They are in their small area, and we have to enlargen it if we are to house 20-30 animals in the near future. The area now is so small that we allow them wonder in the garden almost every day. They walk wherever they want. They spend their nights confined so as to protect them from predators.

And finally, here's a close up of the rooster, with Lepke and Hógolyó in the back.

family reunion !

Dear all, I think I'll be away for the weekend - those two who were missing are re-joining us on Saturday, and wel'll be working around the house Sunday.

On Monday however, a someone from my current job is coming over to talk about the job I had to undertake at the beginning of February. We'll talk about future possibilities, payment and my experiences. I think I've decided that which kind of tasks would I do and which would I rather not at this new job.

This co-worker is, as far as I suspect, is coming to convince me to accept and do online and on-phone customer service. Now, this I have done for a solid 3 years uninterrupted (except for a one-week holiday). And this type of job has driven me sometimes mad. People calling at all times. People complaining, people calling me bad names... I'm not telling you it was a horrible job. There were many, many bright moments in that past job of mine. People were thankful for the product, for the things we did, and even for me. Some people were really sorry when I had to leave. What upsets me is that when I remember that job only the bad moments pop into my mind, not the good ones... As if good memories had been taken away...

There might be circumstances *wink, wink* however, where I might be willing to do this type of job again... but...on the 'money vs. feeling normal' battle I think I let the second one win.

And finally, this will cheer anyone up - On with the speakers!

UPDATE: I can not embed the film, I'm sorry! Anyone possibly can help? As I usually have no problems embedding YouTube clips...

Anyway, this is a film on Atomfilms. One of my all-time favourites. This time it's nothing serious or spiritual. It is pure fun. Fun for fun. Enjoy.

someone's missing

I found your bed empty.

Well, I knew you went away, but secretly

was hoping to find you still there.

Now I see you're gone and so is the Sun

and the view from my window.

I look out to find my reflection on the glass -

nothing more.

some recent things - overcome and fulfilled

February 9.

to rest, to find solace in tranquility to let the burdens dissolve in quietness, in sleep is all I'm longing for so I fall into some subconsciuos drowsiness but the blaze at the back of my eyes awakes me and I stare bluntly ahead finding no peace -

February 14.

The Keeper of Fire spoke tenderly, her advice was scarcely audible -

After all, there is meaning.

There is wisdom

for those who seek and even for those who got tired, wated, exhausted and void in the search there is a weaver behind the carpet.

The pattern might seem unclear and devoid of any form or order. But it's because of its extent. and since puilling one single thread results in drawing numbers of other threads as well -finally the whole carpet becomes one entity. It breathes as one. Inhale and exhale. The heartbeats are all part of one single drum. You are woven into the carpet. You are the carpet and the carpet is you. Every part of it is part of you as well.

---

Absorbing these feelings she induced I hardly noticed that the Keeper of Fire has gone. It's not that she left me at all. It's only that she's got more importants duties. I'm done, my questions were answered, my nerves are calmed. She came and went as will be and is available in need. And that is comforting.

A tree - does that sound familiar?

a quiz that turned into a meme. For me, the disease all started with Chris. The next victim was Anniina, and now it's me. Have fun finding out how well you know little facts about me.

For the test, go here!

travelling inside - UPDATED entry

I am not being lazy, I was just occupied looking a bit inside.

In the period between 9 and 20 of February, I attended two kinesiology sessions (one for me, one for my son) and two meditations (one alone in a company of women and one in the same company, but taking my son with me as well.)

I do feel well.

And I sing a lot. I would switch to one of my favourite tunes and would sing along with the singer. One may laugh at me, but singing out loud does good to your soul. Provided that the neighbour does not hear you - so I watch myself so as not to outsing the original version :)

I think I will update sooner or later, but I'm off to do some cleaning in the house. - I'm done with that.

Kinesiology: I'm ever so glad I've started this. The therapist made me look into my past and see the reasons of some burdens I used to carry. For now I believe I have put them down. There are things at least that I can cope better with. Things that I can accept more. These alone were worth the money. It is clearly better for me and so for my family as well. My son? We'll see how he reacts and how he copes with the things he heard there. He takes the drops regularly and does the little mantras regularly, too.

Meditation: It was my 2nd and 3rd guided meditation. If that is what meditation is, then I've been doing it at some subconscious level since like ages :) Somewhere back in August 2006, I participated one guided meditation and now I had similar feelings, especially at the 3rd one, which one was on February 20, and where I took my 10-yo son as well. He did not want to take part, but I convinced him - 'how can you reject a good thing without even trying?' There were two parts and I told him he was allowed to leave in between - but surprise, surprise, he insisted to stay!

It was the kind of meditation when the whole group does the same thing. It is believed/supposed to make the meditation stronger. We both had strange and intense feelings.

Photos by me on January 27. Location: Pál-völgyi barlang, Budapest. Some of the inside photos show dripstone formations.

This is the second update to this single entry. I was thinking of doing this at all - but since I have no other form of written diary, it is inevitable. So, the part from now on is highly personal. You are welcomed to read, but consider yourself having been warned.

Kinesiology: I'm heading towards being content with being a woman. It was not always this way. My parents wanted a boy and although in a subtle and strange way, unfortunately they did express their dissatisfaction. As far as I recall I was made to believe that had I been born a boy, their marriage would have lasted for longer. Which is, as far as I know now is not true. My father and my mother married for they loved each other and love as such, blinded them both. They were unable to see the vast gap between them, in almost every aspect of life. Such is love. This love produced a baby, who thought she had to fit into the world as a boy. Secretly, though as obviously she was born with female organs and female disposition, including being attracted by (and to) men. Still, she thought she had to be and act like a man and befit to the role of a man. That is what she used to think. Now the kin. session has made me see that when I had been high above (pre-born), I had wanted to become a woman. So that's why I became the one who I became. What my parents wanted and wished for is not my trouble. They loved me, they did not love each other. They still do love me in their own special ways, and they still do not love each other. That's why they divorced when I was 12. But as I was upbrought by my mother, somehow, some of the programs of life she uses has been transferred to me. This is rather unfortunate as I have my own life. The second session was about a disposition I learned from my mother, unconsciously, during my years with her. This does not belong to me. My way of life, my loving is different and it should be. I'm still working on it and it helps over the bumps of our marriage we've been experienced in the past six-seven months. This session helps me overcome my jealousy... that tells it all...
Meditation: meditation is exhilarating. It either opens new horizons for me or simply releases the stress. I believe to have undergone an OBE in August 2006 and I think this is just what happened this time, February 19 2007. In the first part yesterday, we had to experience a path bordered by rose-shrubs that lead to a house. The door oopened and there was a man in the door, but I had to remove it as the leader of the maditaion spoke of no person inside. I reckon this as an excercise for sticking to the point. I saw the man, but I had to remove him from the meditation. Then we had to saw photos on the wall and again I saw pictures, but I had to sweep them away in exchange for the images we were told to see. This is did well. On the second part we had to relax at a side of a lake and then go uphill to meet a lama. This meditation was aimed at meeting him as a spiritual helper. We had to ask questions and had to wait and accept the answer. On the way to the hill we had to let go off our physical and emotional burdens in two steps. This is when I felt as if I had been shelled and only a light-brown inner self was left behind. Later on the brown had gone and only a white-ish body remained. It was me, but without the usual body. The outline was the same, but the flesh as seen by my everyday self has gone. It came so unexpectedly. I met the lama and put forth one of the questions (would the political and economical changes come true as it was foretold by the wise?) He said yes. Then I asked my second question (would our house be remodelled before the crisis?) he answered yes. Then I, slightly disappointed asked him whether he was able to say anything besides 'yes' to my questions. And began thinking of other q's. But first of all, one came into my mind. (would the relationship between me and my husband work out for good, finally?) I added that probably this is the most important question of all. And the lama said yes, this is the most important. He reassured me of this q being the most essential one, but he did not said yes or no. Maybe this was his answer that this is the question of questions and this has to be answered before anything. The tone he used suggested that it will be allright and right now we are working on it and that we have to work on it, putting everything else behind. Before the lama and I parted he (according to the instructor) gave me love energy from his heart-chakra. We were told to experience a light blue streak of energy. It came right as a punch into me, wow. Going down on the hill was an easy walk now. I enjoyed every moment of this meditation. And it is always so hard to get out of it - I wish I could stay longer...

If you have come to read this closing line, well, you know something more and something intimate about me. Use it wisely, my friend.

Be well and thanks again for the encouraging words.

a February evening at Poppy street

Pre-words:
I have found the above picture at this place. For more photos, visit IllMan. Thank you!

Take a deep breath and read. It won't take more of your time than writing took of mine. Where does it take me? I don't know. Maybe nowhere. Maybe nowhere else than I aready am. I might as well stop asking stupid questions. I might as well stop writing stupid words. Well, that's what I have.

But Mrs Hopkins, please! - exclaimed Mrs. Willows from the drawing room.
As there was not any answer from the kitchen, Mrs. Willows started looking for the maid in the kitchen, where she had been just a few seconds ago. In fact, it was a bit strange to call her a 'maid', as Mrs Hopkins has been serving the Willows for a good twenty years by now. She was in her late fifties, a well-kept, with a slim and short figure. Some neighbours kept telling there was a secret behind those perfect soufflés and pumpkin pudings, properly ironed and neatly folded clothes Mrs. Hopkins dazzled her bosses with - wherever she went, tidyness followed. Perfect food and clean house were her trademarks. Yet, there was something around her, something more than meets the eye... No one was sure who or where Mr Hopkins was, for example. If there was any at all... But those were just rumours babbled by those who do not have her in their house - assured Mrs Willows when convincing her husband about letting the maid into their old house in the first place. 'Harry, you're being suspicious, a maid is just a maid and this is just what we need at the moment.' - she told him twenty years ago in that foggy February evening.
'It is fog and February again' - Mrs Willows said it aloud, wondering, as if the words themselves, the voice would bring the maid back to the time and space where she had just been. 'But where is she now?' Mrs Willows arrived to the kitchen by now and to her surprise, found the back door ajar. It leaded to the other street behind their house. The lights in the street were already on as the Sun has began descending into obscurity. The door was open. Mrs. Willows stepped out, pulling her robe a bit tighter it was unexpectedly cold out in the evening. There were no traces of Mrs Hoopkins. No sign at all. Unpeopled the street as was, Mrs Willows turned back to the house.
She made her way back to he drawing room, collapsed into the armchair by the fire. She was still there, sleeping when the husband entered the house an hour later.
---
The lady and the maid were discussing details of the forthcoming birtday of Mr Willows. The maid, a Mrs Hopkins then entered the kitchen to shell almonds in the kitchen, and the lady in the drawing room returned to her previous occupation: she was busy calculating the expenses on the basis of her list. It all happened in a minute. First came that horrible stench of sulphur and then there was a sudden lighting. It all took less than a second. Mrs. Willows stood up from by the table and called for the maid. She hoped for some explanation. But there was not any, barring a faint howling and something that easily could be mistaken a laughter. A laughter by the maid? That was too much for Mrs. Willows. Never in the twenty years has she ever heard Mrs. Hopkins laughing. Neither has her husband. In fact, none of the households that took the advantage of having Mrs Hopkins as a helper has ever heard the maid laughing. Or even seen her smiling.

---
The houses of Poppy street were all silent. There wasn't anyone on the pavement or on the road. The new moon was pale. Competition with the gliding Sun was over too much for her fullness. She waited calmy for she knew there would be the time, her time, night time, when the black vastness over the world would be more than anything willing to accept her and her alone. Her time would soon come, she knew that and waited above.
---