Constellations

We are invited to take part in family constellations.

The whole Sunday is dedicated to that. Normally, this kind of therapy is expensive, but now it is free for us (me and my husband). We have to participate the whole day and one of the sessions will be about our family.

If you are unfamiliar with this, you are advised to check this or this.

If you are sceptic, it's allright.

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We have been in one constellation a year or two ago and it was amazing. The random people chosen for their roles just behaved shockingly similar (or same) as their 'real' counterparts usually do. The session for our family took two hours I guess, but I lost the perception of time, it was so interesting, and it did solve some serious issues for more than one member of our family at the same time.

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Tomorrow during the day I may be chosen to represent someone's relative or someone's 'play counterpart'. I am a bit afraid, but also am willing to go for it for I trust it is helpful for me and for the family I am helping, too.

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Any thoughts?

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I will report on this event as soon as I can word my experiences.

still around

I felt the need to return.

The need to have some personal space to share my thoughts with anyone and no~one; with the world and with myself.

I need some time out.

My body, slowly turning 46 is telling me things. It's time to slow down. Relax and ask questions.

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I find that there are periods in life when you just ask questions. You slow the pace down and begin to wonder about things.

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I vaguely remember the questions I asked when I was 40, when I was past 30 and so on. I guess there are phases to individual development.

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I may not ask the questions appropriate for my age/position/whatever, but these are the questions I ask. I don't have other questions simply because I don't have them in my mind. Or not yet. Or not anymore.

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These days I ask about my roles, the meaning of life, the need I have to ruin# my life and myself for that matter, the lack of desires and so on. At times I tend to cry randomly. I may not be on the right path but I lack the will to correct.

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I am still around, horrified by the will to leave this whole thing as it is, mainly because I don't trust anything else will be better given another chance; drowned by guilt to not feel well when all the world is going mad and with all the good things I do have.

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(#For those thinking that I am doing things against law: no, it's not one of those 'ruining'. I am better than that.)