about the future

I was contemplating quitting blogging.

I don't practice English as much as I'd like to and my command of the language is failing. Bit by bit, but the tendency can not be mistaken. I am not glad with what I see, but I am not sure blogging is a good way to keep up the level.

I have been writing this blog for almost 9 years now.

I went through phases of my life and I needed this journal to keep me sane, to keep me up in the current of events.

At the same time I am sure that my life is eventless. It's just that I take things deeply.

Revise: I used to take.

I am tired and confused, but try watch things come and go, embrace them be as they are. Nothing matters as much anymore as in earlier years.

The less I write, the less I want to write (it applies not only to blogging, but to writing fiction and poems as well. Oh, the sadness of it. Sometimes I am happy with non~writing, sometimes it hurts.)

Sorry guys.

I will not delete the blog however and may return anytime with any subject.

on the virtual online course

it is now the fifth week of the course.

weekly lectures are published in chapters each Friday.

I watched the first chapter on the next week, and had to miss weeks 2, 3, and 4. now I am catching up and watch these chapters 2, 3 and 4 (three weeks) in a row.

unfortunately, the material so far has not been as satisfying as I expected.

for one, the course focuses on online storytelling (tv serials, webisodes), which is definitely not an area for me. and also, the theoretical 

material they are sharing is far from being really on-the-spot. it's more like an introduction to something. a feed for discussion, maybe.

and here comes my part ... there is an ongoing debate, in a forum style, which, honest, I do not follow. it is simply impossible to read all that stuff that people all around the world contribute.

one might pick a topic randomly and read a couple of comments, but the vast amount of written material repels me.

there is no guarantee that that particular thread I read is of importance for me. and my clock is ticking.

so, this course so far is a kind of a disappointment.

I'm still in, have not unenrolled, but I have doubts about the use of it.

an online writers' course and other things

The link is here.
I thought I'd give it a try.
More on that later on.
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Right now I am polishing a 10+ page scientific paper I have translated to English. Some of the most frequent words reveal my state of mind these days: farm regulation, inheritance law, turnover, material resources, measures. Had enough I guess. I, too :) - please tell me it's not 'me, too' here, right?

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About the photos:

They were made in Poland, where we had a nice performance with the choir.

(more photos may come on request)

Keep well,

SzF.

return to poetry, now official :)

I am attending a 10 week poetry course that started this Friday (27 Sept).
It is organized by the writers' group and the leader is a young poet who comes to the classes from the capital.
What does this mean?
I've been experiencing some shift and being-out-of-place lately when visiting online sites, fb included, of writers of various genres. I felt I was the odd one out because everyone seemed to have focused on writing, and by that I mean writing every day, some no matter what, and some in genres that make the hair rise on my back. Don't get me wrong: it is a-okay to focus on writing while you are a writer.
I think I've just figured out that I was just not a writer. May never be, and this feeling is kind of liberating.
I am someone who writes, but writing is not my everyday profession. Writing helps me and I'd like to help/entertain/educate others, raise consciousness whatever, but I am no tradesman.
I am Dario Naharis, if you like, I write when my Muse tells me so, and while I love, love polishing my style and gathering technical tips for writing, there is life and unless the not composing of a writing makes me feel uncomfortable, I do not compose anything, thank you Gustav Holst.
So I feel the pressure on me is lifted and I am free again.
And what will I do with this new-found freedom?
I will write, you guessed it right.

diversity

now it is official :)

all my writing-related posts are published on the other blog, while this one is personal. family issues, house-renovations, friends and the like, debates on the world, on politics, on the state of the garden and so on.

you are warmly invited to continue to frequent any, or rather, both of these blogs.
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you know, this blog here is the older of the two. it started around 2005 and i blogged practically about everything that bothered me.
and somewhere around the summer of 2007 i started the second blog, which was supposed to support the writing of one particular novel.
short stories came and went by, i wrote the first draft to that particular novel and technical questions of writing have gained lots of importance in my life.
so i decided to officially declare that the second blog is for writing only and this, the old one is for everything else.

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and tomorrow we are heading east, to my hometown, to the funeral.

blog news

my father keeps orchideas. he savea rain water in plastic bottles during the summer so as to have a suitable amount to supply the plants during winter and whenever they are in a good need of watering. this photo was made by my father.

this post is to remind all my kind readers that all my writing-related stuff now goes to my second blog, for those posts please visit the top one called 'and i'm writing...' on the right coloumn.

thanks for being with me.

a new anthology

the writers' group i attend at my town (note to self: i have almost called it my hometown, when it is clearly not, and although i did spend half of my life here in G..., i was born in N.... and i still consider N my hometown. this notion may or may not change over time, as the number of years i spend in G... slowly outnumbers the first twenty i had in my original town. and i guess this paragraph just makes no sense to all those people moving to and fro between towns, counties or even countries. well, here i am, old fashioned and all.) is preparing an anthology next year.

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this is the second one!

we are all busy editing each other's and our own writings to make them ready for publishing.

you know, it's coming out in paperback-like version, with the number of copies around 500.

this is what we are able to do - spreading our words to families, friends, and more often than not, to guest lecturers at our meetings.

well some of the books are sold to the general public at special book events like the Week of Books (I guess it's around mid-May or something), or at the Day of Poetry (11 April each year).

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i'm in, of course :)

there will be two translations, one is Carl Sandburg's Fog, and the other one is Robert Lowell's For Sale.

also, there will be two other pieces titled Shadow (a flash fiction when the main character keeps seeing a shadow on the wall while there is nothing there) and The Tale of the Crow (a tale about a crow, uhm, why, yes....this was written in 2007 in English and was first made public here in this blog.)

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apocalyptic tourists

well, the deadline for submission is closing on 31 october.

my short story was read by 8 betas. quite a number, i guess.

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i have spent half of my yesterday to revise the text.

i examined each and every note i had received from these 8 readers.

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i changed where most of the readers had problems and changed where any of them seemed to have a major problme with that particular part.

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generally speaking, i clarified the dialogues, and some of the descriptions, changed the position of certain information within the body of the whole text and left out some text that did not contribute to the overall flow of the story.

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i think i am about the learn something more again about writing.

the best thing of course is that i had something to work on.

that is, i had written so that i was able to revise.

to put in the other way round: you have to write. period.

:)

a new short story

i am attending a short story contest (in hungarian).

there were only a few restrictions: character limit and that the story has to revolve around the oh-so-supposed end of the world in 2012.
the story is called 'apocalyptic tourists'
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we, who attented the virtual writers' course this march-april, decided to help each other by revising each other's stories.

it feels so good to have this virtual company.

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i noticed that having taken part in this course slowed down my writing a lot. like, a lot lot.:)

i tend to notice some of the flaws as soon as i commit them. logical ones. ones when the story winds away to unwanted direction.

i think i am learning to switch from writing from the heart to writing from the mind.

i know the best is to write from both, but now i am a learner.

i study good writing and it means swinging.

time will bring me closer to being a good writer - or a better writer at least.

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how're you doin' ?

you, poets out there - you write from your heart...

i hear you!

and you, fabricators of clever stories - you write from your mind...

i hear you!

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and where i am?

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:)))

yes, but not the cave UPDATE

I don't know if any of you take part in the Lascaux Flash contest, but in case you have not heard about it, here's me, spreading the word.

there is a photo to use as a prompt, but the writings are not judged upon how strong and obvious their connection is to the photo.

the number of contestants are already over 120, and there are 7 more days to enter.

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My one titled 'Gratitude' appears on the site. it is a somehow dark story, not at all well-crafted. huh, I do not read and write English that mush these days. anyway, I worked on the first idea that popped into my mind, huh, that woman has a strange mind, i hear you sayin' :)))

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A fellow blogger and faraway friend, Paul's version is also up, it's about a small kid. Paul knows a lot about kids. I liked his submission a lot.

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My story is No 125. I dedicate it to my dearest Vesper who once said that writing enabled her to live another life whenever she felt like it.
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Update on Monday, 17.
The number of stories border 140 and there are still a few more days to enter.
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the writers' course

i am attending a virtual writers' course and it pretty much takes up my free time.

this is a basic course.

we are through editing and beta-reading each others' short passages and also with writing a synopsis for a short  story and for a novel.

and now our task is to write a short story.

the main theme is 'loss' and we are encouraged, but not obliged to, make use of the 25th anniversary of the Chernobyl events.

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what are you up to?

howl along!
this short video is a reminder.
i would like to ask you to visit my other blog.
check the news on the two latest posts.
thank you.

electro-magnetic whatever

the year is here.

we have been warned, for years and years on and on.

one of our friends said the apocalypse would take place in February 2008.

guess what, we are still here.

well, i never believed in any sort of war/zombie-type apocalypse.

but the more i experience in politics, in human behaviour, in natural studies, the more i am inclined to believe in at least a slight hiccup - when there would be no more electricity, supermarkets, central water and sewer system, no more public transport or media of any kind.

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there are less and less jobs.

people are forced to eat junk. do useless jobs.

this just can not go on.

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we have to hold on to what we actually have.

each other.

we need to slow down and reevaluate things, relationships. the weight and true importance of these things in our lives.

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like i plan to print all my writings. to have them on paper.

i might as well use them to start a fire to prevent us from freezing.

i might as well read them to my grandchildren.

just in case.

i do not want to leave the world without leaving any marks.

i want my thoughts on paper.

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these are the thoughts my mind is occupied with these days.

your thoughts are welcomed.

NaNo questions :)

it happened just a couple of hours after having lamented on my other English blog on the lack of ideas....
i had to take a train and then had to walk 30 minutes...
and as i was watching the signs of autumn around me....
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i was asking myself the following:
Q1-
why do i find my idea for NaNo'11 somewhat boring?
(a post-apocalyptic half-romance, half-realistic story centered around a woman who has nearly lost everything but her faith?)
is it, and/or the setting truly boring?
do you feel it overrepresented/overshared in/by movies/modern literature?
what is you opinion?
2-
can i come up with something i, the writer-to-be like?
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answers to question 1 are kindly waited/appreciated among the comments of this post, thank you very much :)
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one potential answer to question 2 was this: whoa, yes, and i started scribbling frantically on the street, not really caring about the passers-by. mind you there were not many of them, you see, it was a bit raining :) :)
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so i have this other idea: it's about a half human, half other-wordly creature, and their species is about to invade the earth.
what dou you think about it?

propaganda :)

why yes, this is a propaganda for Jason's contest, which now has 40 entries, with number 33 being mine :)

at the same time i dedicate this post to draw your attention to THIS POST.

below are my notes, just my two cents about the subject - the same lines i commented to the post mentioned below.

my lines might make you want to read the original post... ;)

it can't be that easy to balance between showing bad and good characters of a certain nation/religious group/community when there's a definite negative air (of media) around that group. if the author goes all negative - it's another pro-group voice in the mainstream. it's propaganda, as you said, and no one wants to read that, either. if the book is all positive then the author might get accused of being partial...or writing propaganda...

at the same time no one likes people who sit on the fence....

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oh, and the time and difficulty i had choosing the name of the boy in that short story for Jason's contest.
i wanted a male name that means 'light'.
i surfed the internet.
i found tonnes of Hebrew names.
i said no.
i found Indian names. i discarded them because i thought those would have been misleading as to the setting and time of my story.
i found an Arabic one. i liked it a lot. i discarded it because... i thought it might provoke unwanted directions in the reader's head.
so i chose a Japanese one.

go figure :(

elemental contest :)

Jason is having a contest this Wednesday.

There is a photo for inspiration, which I already have because he let us peek into it :)

Today I wrote my contribution as well. It is clearly influenced by a book I’m reading right now (by the way, I’m reading it for the second time), but I digress.

If you visit Jason's site you may read lots of great entries. You may even write your own story, for the rules are clearly set, and enter the contest. You may enter to try to win, but if you arelooking for literary enjoyment, you’ll be having one for sure.

And then there’s the supportive community of published authors and damn good amateurs.

Go!

By the way, the photo is titled ’elemental’.

some people live in a fog - while i translate it :) UPDATED

okay, the title does need some explanation.

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phase 1:

i translate Fog, a short poem by Ca_rl San_dburg.

during translation i do some google research as to the meaning of expressions and to the type of poem.

phase 2:

i submit the translation to an online literature site. i am a regular member and from time to time my writings are published there. it takes one or two editors to let a writing published. sometime the editors suggest some modifications.

phase 3:

the editor completely rejects said Sand_burg translation, quote: 'Although I am not classified to deal with translated poetry, it is all clear that your version is not even coming close to a word-to-word translation'.

phase 4:

*facepalm*

phase 5:

i wonder about the diversity of mind and people, about understanding poetry and translating poetry...about stupid editors....about the need to leave this site...about the urge to laugh... the urge to sob...

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and a brand new update!!!

phase 6:

my account is deactivated on that site.

it means that i can not contribute to its contents either by writing and submitting poems or translations or by writing comments on other people's writings. there you go.

am i to return to this site?

i mean, ever?

like accepting or asking for being reactivated again?

like... asking anything from these incompetent bunch of editors?

'as he turned it around'

this image was on about the third, or fourth page of a google image search of 'turn around'.

the title of the post refers to a writing contest that i am planning to enter. it is in Hungarian and the winner(s) will be published in a magazine.

the only rule is that the entry has to contain and make good use of the phrase 'as he turned/flipped it around'.

anthology

and yes, the anthology that contains pieces written by the members of the local writers' group is ready and published.

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as some of you may know, there is a special series of cultural events called "the week of book" in Hungary. it is a nationwide event. most publishing houses come out with lots of different books. new and well-known authors, all kinds of genres alike: this week is to celebrate reading and books in general. most libraries have at least one special event, larger ones have a whole week filled with a series of events like meeting the author(s), discussing a special book.

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i have three entries published in the anthology, which was introduced on 2 June, as the first event of the week, they are: Winter Fairy (a 4 stanza, abab rhyming poem about the natural wonders and the harsh reality of winter) , Fellas (a short story about the end of a friendship between a blackbird and a hen - of course this one is a parabole) and Homeward bound (a short story in three pieces about a roadside mistery and about at least 3 deaths)

i translated the latter and put it up here a while ago. for the first piece click HERE.

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so, on 2 June, the authors were seated in front of the visitors and the professional leader of the group (an acknowledged young poet) introduced us and the book. this quite formal talk was followed by a short, informal meeting between the readers and us, and the evening was finished off in a pizza bar with lots of friendly discussions. we just simply enjoyed that we reached this stage.

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if i had to choose one word to describe the evening it would be: 'unbelievable'

i translate and write articles to magazines, so i frequently do see my name in print. it can't be that. my poems and short stories are being published in a virtual writers' site. people can read and comment on my writing... so it can't be that either.

is it the form?

that this anthology is a book, a good-old fashioned, REAL book?

:)

this feeling makes me happy, makes me want to learn more about good writing, makes me want to write more, makes me excited and horrified at the same time.

:)

wow, i had to face potential readers...

Jerom and his story

now, i know i've been quite a bad blogger these times.

but somehow i happen to have noticed something similar among the blogs i usually visit.

is it that we have less time?

or is it that people do not find blogging as satisfying/interesting/useful as they used to?

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too bad, for if one blogger starts to neglect his blog, some other might not feel the drive to post regularly, and then a third one and so on...

if this is a community, it will surely die off gradually, one after another.

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i am not sure if this is the case, i was just wondering...

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yesterday a great idea hit me, and i wrote it (wrote it out?) in the afternoon.

it's called Jerom's story.

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here's the synopsis:

Jerom, finds himself locked in a mental asylum. he finds most of his inmates are criminals. he is convinced he himself is not insane.

he makes friends and starts to feel at home, but still does not know why he is locked up here in the first place.

on a rainy day he starts hearing voices talking to him.

eventually, he becomes insane.

the staff finds out and reassures him in his (new?) state of mind.

Jerom finds being insane a great way to feel happy about being locked in.

he no longer cares about the reason.

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now, i planned to have a second part and a third part, too.

in the 2nd part, the readers gets to know about the reason Jerom is in the asylum.

in the 3rd part, the reader finds out about Jerom's background. like a neglecting and/or abusive relative or something like that.

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now, i don't think i want to write part 2 and 3.

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my reasons:

to follow up the intensity of part one, part 2 should be gory and sick. i don't think i want to write that way.

part 3 on the other hand, should be a cover up for Jerom's sin.

and i don't think i want to give Jerom a pat on the shoulder. i don't think i want to take away the guilt. if Jerom did wrong, he should be punished. if Jerom, say, mutilated and or killed his wife, or set a little baby on fire - this is crime and evil. i don't want to give hims redemption by saying: 'oh, you poor Jerom, you did have a nasty childhood'.

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what's your opinion?