homeward bound - part two

if you are just joining this mini-series, this is the second part and may or may not stand alone.
i suggest you reading part one first.
also, you are welcomed to read the introduction as well.



2.

Nightlights.
Slippers.
Warm tracksuits.
A hot tea in a black mug.
Internet.
Road 44.
10 November 2007.
Fog, with occassional showers.
Early morning, low visibility.
Horse-driven wagon.
A jumper.
Car.
Multiple passings.
Slipping.
Lack of baby seat.
Responsibility.
Irresponsibility.
July 2008.
Single mother.
Alone.
Violence debarred.

homeward bound - part one

Homeward Bound

’Sometimes the lights all shinin on me;
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me what a long, strange trip it’s been.’
(quote from Grateful Dead: Trucking)

1.
To the left, there’s emptiness. A meadow, perhaps. From the right, trees were coming into sight. Patches of trees; trunks, bushes in blob patterns. Autumn used an eraser. The trees used to be there all the time, but were invisible. Dark, grey stripes, part of strips along the road.

Fog started to clear up around seven in the morning. I got up at four, and I’ve been on the road ever since. It takes at least another two hours to get there.

I reached to the passenger’s seat and fished for a cd underneath a red folder. With one hand I opened and shoved it into the player. For a brief moment I had to close my eyes.

I saw a horseman on the field, along my car. A young white horse ridden by a strong man – but his face was covered by his long, wavy hair – or was it the fog?

I wished to talk to them, but I minded the road, because I felt a sudden jolt. My car faced a thick barricade of hawthorn and blackberries.
Beside the bushes, I saw a young woman. Frighteningly close to the hood. She looked swaying, her hands tightly folded in front of her stomach.
Have I just ran over her?

She was wearing a long, orange dress and a coarse scarf. She had that dreamy look in her eyes.

I grabbed my warm sweater, got out of the car and said:
- Uhm, hello, good morning. Are you all right?
- Good morning. – She replied, watching something between the car and the bushes.
- What happened? Do you need my help?
- My son was run over.

My forehead felt like ice and I hardly could speak:
- Was it me?
The woman looked on the ground, somewhere under the bushes. The sole of her soft sandals were soaking wet in the November fog. She let her folded hands move. They flew like a bird released. They circled in the air and finally, her palm rested in front of her face.
She was crying.

There was nothing on the ground.
Well, there were grass, fallen twigs, berries. Dew. Fading leaves and black berries. Greyish-green blades of grass. Droplets of dew in neat order along the edges of grass. A couple more days and the frost bites.

The orange dress flew in the wind. I gulped once again.
- Was it me?

She let her hands down. She was definitely looking at something on the road. I checked, but the road was empty. She began to speak. Her words came out very slowly.
- It happened two years ago. My son was sitting next to me. I shouldn’t have let him.
She began to cry again.

- Please, have a seat in my car. It’s cold. Let me take you home.
The woman shook her head and continued:
- He was so small.
Her hands created a cradle. She was looking at the baby. The place of the baby within her hands.
- I should have put him into his baby seat.
A tuft fell from her knot of hair. She let it loose. She did not fixed it.
- He wanted to sit on the front. Mom, right beside you! – that’s what he said.

I shivered in the fog and reached for her hands.
- Let me take you home.

The woman was looking at the brown leaves on the ground. She saw something that I did not. Finally, she looked me in the eye:
- I’d rather stay for a while, but thank you anyway.

Two mothers. Two women.
We kept looking into each other’s eyes for a long time.
I saw a long, winding road in her iris. A narrow ribbon of road, bordered by bushes. There was a distant bell from a church. Cornflowers swayed in the wind. A ribbon of road. Cornflowers.
A small garden lake.
A kid’s bicycle, painted red, lying in the grass.
Butterflies chasing each other above cabbages.
The smell of tomatoes.
- Mom!
A foggy road. A slow wagon on the left side of the road. Brown, heavey horses. Hay. Brake creaking. Passing. A toy dog, rocking beneath the mirror. Two cars from the front. Passing.
- Mom!
Silence. A silence too long.

I sighed. Or was it she who sighed? I remained silent for a while and put my hands on her shoulders to say goodbye:
- Take good care.
I returned to my car. I started the engine slowly so that I could wave her again.
To say goodbye to her, whose name I failed to ask.
But she was already gone.

foreword to 'Homeward bound'

within a week i will post my latest short story called 'Homeward bound'.

it is loosely inspired by some music and a movie.

i wrote it in Hungarian and the version published here is my translation. it totals to 1200+ words.

if you have any trouble understanding the reason behind a certain selection of word, word order, verb tense or style, just let me know. i probably have done something wrong and your help is much appreciated.

-

it is about a journey.

there's not much going on there in the surface, it's merely a reflection, but some parts are autobiographical.

the major tragic elements are just made up ones.

sometimes we wish it was just easy, don't we?

-

there are three parts to it.

which is a bit strange - were there only one part, the story would make a small, stand-alone writing.

the short second part adds a twist to it.

you probably will notice that the third part is not necessary. i had some difficulties finishing it at first, but i came to like it at the end.

you be the judge.

-

the journey begins tomorrow, have fun.

inspired by a photo #1

Ewen's great photography is found here.
and here's my take on this particular PHOTO:
------
the king

grass grows where balls were held,
bridges, cities grew upon command;
defeated and expelled,
the king contemplates his former land.
-----
if the same photo inspires you in any way, please join us in the comments section.
I'll continously update this post with your versions.
have fun!

breaking news:flood

the following picture is from Budapest, the capital of Hungary - as far as I know there are no casualties or irreparable damages there.

this is not the case in the country.

people, most of them volunteers, have been working continously by rivers, small and large alike.

family houses and agricultural fields disappeared just within a matter of hours.

a great event i'm not attending

erm...
this is a short film about the upcoming Pest Megyei Szala (Szala of Pest County, where szala is an ancient Hungarian word rarely, if at all, used nowadays, with a meaning of 'assembly', or 'gathering'; that is, of a nation.)
this video gives you a glimpse of this festival, where old traditions are displayed. it is quite a dense video, with lots of different elements of our old heritage are shown by people who practice these things on a regular basis.
i hope you'll like it.

-

my husband will attend the event by holding a small lecture on the role of traditions in our thoughts. unfortunately i can't be there, for i am travelling out of the border to the town of Nagyszalonta. the town used to be a Hungarian town for a thousand years, but it now belongs to Romania. Arany János, one of the greatest Hungarian poets was born here. Arany wrote a number of great ballads, based on Hungarian history and folklore. he is also famous in Hungary for translating the works of William Shakespeare. i read Shakespeare in both languages, and although I've got some difficulties understanding the original version, the Hungarian version has an excellent and noble language, too. Here's a link to one of his ballads called 'The Bards of Wales'.

-

the reason i'm travelling there is that our choir is to sing at a mass in a church on Sunday morning. i'm so excited about it :)

and i am not tagged :)

my task is 'to list 12 things I like, 1 thing I love, and 8 things I hate. Then, if I dare, I am to tag 3 people.'

first of all, i love making lists that remind me to how much one can love one's life and one's circumstances.

secondly, i will not use 'hate'. i will use 'repel' - to express that whenever i may got in contact with that particular thing i feel the urge to step back. it is sort of a disgusting, sort of stay-away-from-me reaction.

12 'like'-s
1. sleeping, be it anytime of the day
2. reading good poetry
3. coming to understanding something complicated
4. tomatoes, freshly picked, still hot from the sun, from our garden
5. beef, most of all in the beef soup my husband makes
6. being helpful
7. hiking in woods or rock-climbing
8. a good workout
9. the smell of cows and hay, silo or forage
10. the smell of earth, preferably after a rain
11. the smell of sunshine on anyone's skin
12. singing!

1 love
1. having done a great job, feeling of accomplishment, either physical or mental

8 things that repel me
1. dishonesty, lying
2. too much noise around me
3. disorder, when there are no clear rules available
4. low standards of communication, disregarding rules
5. mud or sand between my fingers, getting dirty
6. certain topics of conversation including, but not limited to taxes, health insurance, grants and supports, ways of burocracy
7. certain odours including, but not limited to the smell of urine, excess and old sweat
8. the taste and smell of fennel or aniseed

update

dear all,
i finished that loooooong translation but other jobs found me.
for many reasons, i'm kind of stressed.
the garden is getting beautiful with all those great tulips i brought straight from holland in 2008. the cherry, sour-cherry and other trees are in full bloom.
my camera gave up, so i can not support my words with photos.
i keep visiting your blogs even if i don't comment.
cheers,

a joke i found today

communications major:
'what the hell is a palindrome?'
english major:
'no, it isn't'

erm...

i am alive :)

-

elections are due this sunday. keep your fingers crossed. i can imagine all sorts of outcomes.

people are so easily talked into things upon the logic of their wallets.

a beer or two for the masses.

the current g'ment is handing out money for all sorts of organisations. the reason?

an 'x' at the right place on a small slip of paper this sunday. nothing else.

-

easters holidays were fine. we colored lots of eggs just like in previous years. we hid chocolates all over the garden on the early morning this monday and the kids went out and searched for the treats.

-

this tuesday was the last day of the eastern school holiday. we went to see a great memorial event at the village of isaszeg. in 1849, during the hungarian revolution of 1848/49, the hungarian army defeated the austrians. this success has been celebrated in the past 22 years by enthusiastic volunteers. in a well-guarded field, people ride horses, others fight on foot with traditional weapons of that time. cannons are shot.

the fight lasts for 45 minutes; the original one lasted for 3,5 hours.

there are women and kids among the participiants, but about 80% of the fighters are adult men. there are austrians, hungarians wearing various types of clothes, according to their rank and class, all mimicking original clothing.

the battle is in the afternoon and there are folk dancing and other events starting in the morning.

it was a great fun day.

-

unfortunately my camera has given up. i have to buy another one. hence is the lack of my own photos, but what the internet is for? the photos included are a painting by a famous painter than mór called 'the battle at isaszeg', and two postcards from the early 1900's about the celebrations of the memorial place. you may want to click on the photos to get some interesting details.

-

some statistics

general elections are on the way. the date is 11 April.

i'd love to make you see a short documentary based on official statistics, but it's in hungarian. the country is in an extremely bad condition.

anyway, here's the video - if you have any questions, just ask me!

here are some important facts and details, based on the video above:

between 2002 and 2010 -

the number of the unemployed has doubled.

households own six times as much money to banks.

the state owns 2,5 times more money to foreign banks (mainly, to IMF)

tax takes away more than 50% of the wages.

public transport is poor and expensive.

if we compare how many minutes does an average person have to work to be able to pay for a big mac, the ratio is the lowest in hungary. we have to work 54 minutes to get enough money to buy a big mac.

child care allowance is the lowest here.

the average wage of a teacher in hungary is one of the lowest in the world.

there are 3 million people living (or vegetating) below the poverty threshold in hungary. remember, that's one third of the total population. sounds tricky, doesn't it?

the number of beds in state hospitals has dropped to 70,000 - remember, that's for 10 million hungarians. great, right?

the rate of people doing any sport is as low as 7%.

the rate of morbidity (tuberculosis, suicide, alcoholism) is one of the highest.

the number of people dying per 1000 inhabitants is higher than is Syria, Viet Nahm, Lebanon...

out of 10 million people, 5,4 millions suffer from obesity, 3 million from smoking, 1 million are recorded alcoholists, 1 million has a psychiatric record for depression. 1 million has diabetes, 650,000 have tuberculosis.

one of every three hungarian women decides to have no child at all.

the total population of hungary decreases every year with a population of an average town (30,000-50,000 persons).

at an average, every day, seven suicides are committed (out of 10 millions)

-

hungarians are vanishing. the proportion of gypsies among newborn babies can be as high as 70-90% in some regions of the country.

-

now, as the elections are but a couple of weeks ahead, some believe in changes. some hope that this or that will win.

i too, have my choice and vote.

but i'm pessimist.

i hope you have better visions for your future country.

sorry for this gloomy post...

i'll be here and there, too

dear all, i have been just given a 61-page job. REVISED and UPDATED: it's 77 pages.
for more information: see the comments.
it means that my brain is occupied and is not supposed to let the Muse in. hm, which also implies that once it strikes, i will be more than pleased to receive its call.
and i will sure check your works and words too.
that's all for now :)

Four Women in The Night

for a short introduction, scroll down for Hi, I'm Pedro (part one and two).

if you want to skip it, that's okay. just read the four parts, and have fun answering the questions at the end.


---

Four Women in The Night (4*250 words)

Part 1. Thomas

His hands waving, Thomas walked loosely towards the bartender.
- Fine evening, huh?
The girl poured the drink, smiled, and returned to duty.
- So, how things’re going?
Thomas swung his arm, pushed himself up the counter and jumped on top. His tone was relaxed, with a sense of authority. He set his eyes on Laura’s.
A guy arrived.
Thomas eyed the newcomer. Then he leaned on his left elbow.
- I hear there’s a bar a few blocks down here. How’bout checking it out?
Laura was preparing pizza.
- Uhm, sorry, I’m quite busy now.
Thomas grinned, but his face was calm and soon he was smiling again. He moved the bowl of peanuts to the center of the counter and leaned even closer.
- I see, but this weekend sure is fine by you, hm?
He looked deep into the girl’s eyes. He was really close now.
Another guy appeared. His hands almost touched Thomas’s.
- Hey, watch yourself – Thomas exclaimed. - I have some business here and you disturb me.
The young man uttered something about working hard.
Thomas laughed at him and turned towards Laura.
- My dear, how about this weekend?
The young man abrupted again with some stupid remarks.
The girl was busy working and hardly focused on Thomas, so she asked:
- I’m sorry?
- This weekend, sure it’ll be fine, huh?
- I’m afraid, not.
Thomas raised his eyebrows:
- Next weekend?
Laura was calm.
- I’m sorry, but no.

Part 2. Orlando

Orlando arrived. He stood at the entrance for a while. He stood solidly, both feet on the ground.
There was only one man at the bar, sitting atop the left side of the counter.
Orlando approached. His steps were firm and deliberate, as if he was using space on purpose. He got to the counter and took the rightmost end of it. His soft hands rested on the shiny surface.
The other man looked at him, but Orlando averted his eyes.
With a calm tone in his voice, he greeted the girl behind the counter, and asked for something to eat.
- Tonight we have special pizzas. You may want to try them.
- You got me nterested. What toppings can I have, please?
Laura listed the possibilities.
Orlando watched her face. He listened carefully for her words.
The man on the left kept talking. He even pushed the peanuts to the middle, but Orlando did care to touch them. He was waiting for his pizza.
- Thank you.
Laura smiled back at him.
Someone else appeared.
A debate has started between the newcomer and the one sitting on the counter.
Orlando listened to their arguments. At times he stole glimpses at their movements, too.
Then he returned to look at the bartender. Head slightly tilted, he smiled.
- What are your plans for the future?
The girl smiled back.
- There are possibilities – she started but was interrupted by a noise. Laura turned around and adjusted the machine.

Part 3. Eric

Eric was waiting beside his coffee, while someone entered and headed to the bar. This man was soon gesturing wildly, leaning towards the girl. The girl was busy. She hardly seemed to stop.
Later on, another entered and took his place by the counter. The second man was relaxed. The girl was replying a lot to the first man, but attended the second one more frequently.
Rising from behind, Eric moved forward. He focused on the girl. He took the middle position between the two men. The one sitting on the counter spat that he should better mind his own business and harshly brushed Eric’s arms away.
Eric explained:
- I’m here just as right as anyone. Just look at how hard she’s working. Doing her best to serve us here and you are disgracing her.
The man on his left cared no attention to him.
The girl put the sandwich on a clay plate. Eric slowly pulled it closer and looked into Laura’s eyes. - Thank you.
His voice was deep. The girl returned his look. A smile was emerging, but instead she blushed and returned to her duties.
Eric ate the sandwich bit by bit. He was not hurried at all.
The man on the left kept picking on him, and at times he replied, which seemed to have bothered his rival.
- Man, I don’t want no trouble. Behave yourself and respect the lady.
Laura looked Eric once again.
A deep breath was on the rise.

Part 4. Laura (an interview)

- The first one was Thomas. What do you think of him?
- He had a definite man-like aura around him. He was confident. He was open about his intentions.

- Does it mean you liked him?
- Well, not exactly. He invaded my space, my physical world. He got very close. He thought too much of himself. He directly looked at my body, which I found rude. He looked fine and all but he was pushing himself too much.
- How was Orlando?
- Wow, the second guy was cool. Smooth and intellectual.
- What did you like about him?
- He was kind and paid attention to me. To what I said and how I said. He listened. He got the brains. He was a challenge to my mind somehow. Yes, I liked him.
- How do you think a relationship between you and Orlando would turn out (provided you chose him)?
- Calm and relaxing. Fine.
- And what about Eric?
- Strange. He just turned up - out of nowhere. But he acted as if he had been around here like a hunter waiting for prey.
- Like… offensive?
- No, he was cool! His manners overwhelmed me.
- Was he soft?
- Hm, no. Strange, isn’t it? He praised the way I was doing my job, he watched me, but he was not pushing it.
And he had that look, that shine in his eyes. There was passion inside. He reached for my soul.

---

QUESTIONS for my kind readers:

question1 - who did you think won Laura's heart? (why? - optinal)

question2 - which one did you think i played?

question3- any comments on the play, the writing itself, technical remarks, whatever (optional, but recommended)

-

bonus music: dead can dance's yulunga.

Hi, I'm Pedro (part two)

UPDATE:

Eric's part has been finished. Now I'm working on Laura's.

---

this is the introduction to part two.

i am to write about a role-playing game we got engaged into during last Sunday.

there were four players. one had to play a female bartender, and the remaining three were to seduce her into.. say... a nice evening, perhaps a movie, or a drink somewhere, possibly into some more... *winks*

each man had to do his best to get the girl.

the girl had to decide.

-

instead of a dry summary of the events in a couple of lines, i decided to write a 4*250 word piece, one piece for each character.

arriving one after another, each man appears and stays at the bar and acts according to his intentions.

the girl is the bartender. she watches them, might or might not analyse them for herself - but when the scene ends she has to pick one.

-

the girl is Laura, the men, in order of appearance are Thomas, Orlando and Eric.

so far i've written two, one for Thomas and one for Orlando.

once I'm done with Eric and Laura, i'll get back here to you.

-

writing the pieces is an exciting experience for me. i've been through the whole thing, so there's inspiration. after finishing the scene, we (the players) talked over our motives, actions, body movements. the one who played Laura gathered her reasons for picking the one she did.

all those who played the men explained their own behaviour and some of the interactions they had during the game.

it was fun, totally fun.

writing it is great fun too, because i have to stick to the 250-word limit and i try to stay as unemotional as possible.

-

i'm so not telling anyone which part i played. also i'll withhold Laura's decision. you'll have to guess these and explain it in the comments section. don't worry!!! it won't be difficult at all.

-

winter haiku

i.

a dead bird, fallen

frozen in the pile of snow -

the sunlight is cold

ii.

white flakes soar about -

a squirrel searches the snow

for hidden walnuts

iii.

a blaze of ice roars

through a row of barren trees -

skeletons' galore

iv.

a drip, another

ice melts drop by drop by drop

a puddle awaits

Pedro part two is on the way -

Hi, I'm Pedro (part one)

I'm from Bolivia. I'm 38. I am a native indian, but now I live in the city and work as a painter. I have no wife and no children I know of. I paint walls, but sometime in the future I'll be painting canvas.

-
so, I'm back from the training.
there were four trainers from Berlin, Germany; one of them originally came from the US and there were six trainees. out of the six, there was one girl form Belorus (she's studying at a university in Budapest), and the remaining five were Hungarians.
-
i did expect something else. if i had known about the real subject* of the training, i wouldn't have possibly taken part at all.

but now, having taken part, i think i would have regretted if i had missed it.

*it is a training basically for those who have the body of a woman, but feel uncomfortable with this. i don't think i want to go further into the subject.

-

i'm fine as a woman, and this training was basically not targeted at me. this is clear. i just took part b/c a friend of mine has asked me to.

what i learned was that while for a normal woman like me, it can be extremely funny to learn things about how men walk, stand, sit and eat, how do they behave, and how can you, as a woman dress up like a man, and mask your face to look like a man; it is not fun at all for some of those people i've met yesterday.

three of the Hungarian trainees were in some stages of transition. one of them is on hormones and has undergone at least one surgery.

for a 'normal woman' like me a makeup that made my face manly was interesting and fun. role playing was a great source of learning.

but for those people, let me call them unfortunate and/or desperate; these opportunities are of elemental need.

it was kind of shocking for me to see them suffer in the body nature gave them.

i've heard of tran_sse_xuals.

i even have ga_y and le_sbian friends. no problems with that.

but perhaps this was the first time i experienced their problem from so close a perspective. it felt almost like a first-hand experience.

-

in the second part i will recall one of the actual role playing games i took part in.

to be continued whenever i'm ready with my latest paid job in progress.

-

say goodbye

long was the night
a velvet, black ribbon
with lampions scatter'd among the bushes
shimmering, waning to ashes and sparkling again

soft was the light
honey dribbling over parched bread
teeth grinding, mouth closing, just another crumb

hunger and need

balance and solace

I can not
Propose
Be
To you
Your wife

never
and a yes, for ever.

i had a dream
but infinity ends here

i am to remain:
the reminder to stay
the rest.

---
(this to a relationship of 22 years)
- - -

anything might happen.

anything and the opposite as well.

just hand me another kleenex.

:)))

and no, i'm not letting myself into melancholy, because i have a great appointment for this Sunday - a short training program on discovering our inner self. about the feminine and the masculine within.

a friend of mine has talked me into this.

it's free and the instructor speaks only English. i might even have to translate at times.

we'll just see.

education

this post is about the education of my kids, a short review of the Hungarian educational system, and finally, some thoughts on (not) writing :)

-

I have started to monitor my kids' school activities, homeworks more closely. within a year, they both will have to apply to another school. it involves exams. I think we should better start this early.

my son's got the brains, but he refuses to use them.

a year from now, he'll have to pass written tests from Hungarian and Math and he'll have an oral English exam, too. the system will check his marks from Hungarian, Math, English, History at the end of the 14th semester (end of 7th grade) and at the 15th semester (halfway at the 8th grade). we are gathering points. the race is tough to get into highschool.

it seems that he has not learned how to learn.

we were too busy accommodating him to all those various schools he attended.

we were busy surviving in various conditions.

i don't know if it's too late or not, but i'll do my best to help him.

-

my daughter likes to play the dumb, which is she not. she's very slow, but can sparkle. she's fine in all subjects. she's in the 3rd grade now, which means that next January she's going to write exams from Hungarian and Math to get into a secondary school/highschool.

-

for those, who are unfamiliar with the education system in Hungary, here's a short review:

all kids must go to a preschool at the year preceding their first year of school education.

kids start school at the age between 6-7. some kids start at 6 sharp, some as late as 7.5. parents have the right to decide on the right time. parents are supported by the preschool nurses, and by various consellors in making the right decision about the *when*.

once a kid gets into elementary school, he can stay there for 8 years. that's the maximum amount of elementary education.

secondary education may start after grades 4, 6 and 8.

as you have guessed, secondary education lasts either for 8, 6 or 4 years, resp.

secondary education finishes around the age of 18 and the not-so-kids with the high school diploma (GCE) can head to obtain BSc, MSc, or some other, technical qualifications in universities, or in specialized schools.

-

on the writing front:

i am quite unsatisfied with the writers' group I joined a year or so ago. here's my rant.

at the moment I have some ideas in my head, but it's all in a haze. as if I haven't decided which should go first.

but for most of the time, my mind is occupied by fragments like 'the novel, belonging to the epic genre, where...' (excerpt from my son's Hungarian book); or 'the revolution failed in 1849 and all generals were executed on ....' (quote from his History book); and pieces of arguments like 'you have to learn more so that you have more options to choose from'; and 'there's not enough time now for watching a movie, because I have't seen your math yet'; and 'please let us review this passage again'; and 'I know you are not interested, but...'; or 'I want you to reach your highest potential' and so on....

-

but apart from that, be assured I read your blogs, which are definitely more interesting than mine these times.... and i trust one day the muse hits again... she just doesn't find the way into my dense mind :))))

I do try to find some time to read, though. i hope it helps.

life atop the roof

these photos were made by our neighbours.

October 2006. the roof is not yet ready. we are treating the wooden frame with a sulphurous mixture in order to protect it from fungi.

December 2009. watch the trail of a squirrel from the pine up the roof. you may want to click on the photos for details.

January 2010. smoke from the chimney indicates that we bake something in the oven, or we felt cold; or both. you know our oven provides heat for the rooms, but also we can use it for cooking or baking.

too much or to little?

when thoughts attack and inspiration fuels my artistic stumbling, i write.

-

sometimes the events and actions are so alive and intense that i feel a need to guide the reader through it all - but i don't think it works all the time at all. neither is a desireable thing in writing. there has to be something left out for the reader to imagine.

this technique can easily result in an over-explained text that is too dull and complex to follow.

-

some other times however, i feel that since i, the writer do not know all the things about what's going on, plus some things are more than obvious, i have this tendency to omit some details - but this may risk continuity. i, the writer know about the surrounding and background story that explains/supports the events/actions, but what is obvious for me may not be clear for the reader.

-

there must be a fine balance...
i think revision is one solution to this dilemma.

hm, i wish i wrote more to see which type of mistake is more frequent in my writing... ;)

and you? how about your tendencies?

do you think there is an antidote to either of these mistakes besides revision and lots of reading of good literature?

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in the meantime i'm off to write...

no, this time it's for money and the subject is table grapes, and their home-scale production.

halo

I think I have just finished with the first draft of Halo. I started writing it in late 2007, stopped writing around March 2008 and never have added more than a couple of words and or done some minor revisions ever since. but this last December I decided to stop dragging writing anymore, put the delay to an end and voilá.

now I've got 7488 words, out of which 2207 was added in the last week. this is my longest ever writing. revisions might take more than half of it away, but still.

I think I'm just learning. I hope I do.

beta readers are kindly invited...

more information on the project is available on my other blog.

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we have started learning Benjamin Britten's A Ceremony of Carols this week. If there is a virtual purring insert one hearty one to visualize my feelings about being on the path to be able to properly sing it. just yum. yum.

you can watch some of the pieces on YouTube.

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so, I'll definitely let Halo rest for a couple of days.
in the meanwhile, be sure to visit Jason's contest named 'Silhouette'.

happy new year!

photos made by the wife of the host of the party that was held to celebrate the ending of 2009 and the arrival of 2010. these New Year's Eve parties are called Silvester Parties in Hungary. enjoy the photos. the first one (above the text) was made with long exposition. it's me and my husband dancing. it's amazing how the wall behind us is visible through our bodies. I find it quite amazing. the other three photos were made in the garden.

merry christmas

below is my translation of a poem by the great Hungarian poet Ady Endre (1877-1919). I followed the form and rhyming of the original poem. suggestions re:word use, rhymes, whatever are accepted. enjoy.

Snow upon the cross in the woods
mighty winter night, the Moon above -
'twas a time ago. Sledge a-rattling
carries me through the woods, in a rush
mighty winter night, the Moon above.

My old man, back then was all gleaming,
Singing songs of joy towards the cross,
Son of my old man, that's what I was
Refusing carved idols, fresh and old
Singing songs of joy towards the cross.

Two stubborn calvinists on the sledge
Father and son we flew on, like time
One accepting, other rejecting,
Next to each other, notes of delight
Father and son we flew on, like time.

Memories from a mere score ago,
My sledge in the woods, towards the night
But now I stop to finish my deed,
To bend and honor that cherished sight
My sledge in the woods, towards the night.

the fun of winter

meme 2009

name three things around the world that surprised you the most in 2009.

1.

the friendship that is forming between neighbours in the street.

2.

the craze about flu (the way people are manipulated).

3.

how much sudden and unexpected help we were given throughout the year, just whenever we needed it the most. we were given a great kitchen table, a set of beds for example, for free. many friends just turned up and offered a helping hand in our house-renovations.
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name three things you learned about yourself in 2009.

1.

I am just as human as some other people I knew.

this is a bit hard to explain. I was always sure that I ranked high in the moral compartment, and my opinion has not changed.

what did, then? I have never thought I would ever commit certain things or fall for certain things. uhm... as this diary is public, I can not really go into details.

I came out a new and happier woman after it was over. my relationship with men, women, and my very own self as a women has never been healthier and fuller. my relationship with DH has never been better as well. there is a much deeper layer of understanding between the two of us.

2.

I am able to feel unconditional love (uhm, I knew this, but the year 2009 has brought me to situations where I had to chance to feel it toward at least three people, and it's not about erotica at all)

3.

I lived up to my inspirations: upon following an inner voice, I joined a choir, wrote a couple of pieces, and enjoyed myself in general. I earned next to nothing, but the balance... ? so far so good.
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name three persons that had a great influence on your life in 2009.

1.

my husband, who was there beside me when I needed him. with my experience, I am now able to understand him much better.

2.

z., a man half of my age.

he inspired me a lot.

it was his influence that took me to singing for example. by studying him and our relationship, I learned a lot about people and myself.

he inspired about six of my poems written in 2009, out of which only one was translated to English - my big thanks to Chris in helping me polishing the lines.

3.

arthur, an online nickname for someone I used to play back to back in an mmrpg. that thing is over now, I finished playing it for various reasons (another story indeed)

arthur supported and stood by me and taught me about unconditional, sometimes inexplainable love. he is now working very hard and is not available online and I miss him.

he inspired two of my poems written in 2009.

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name three things that came unexpected in 2009.

1.

I started singing in a women's choir.

2.

I joined a writers' club in spring. I also attended a writers' contest in my other name. I won nothing, but the experience was great.

3.

uhm, a love.
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name three wonderful and/or memorable events of 2009.

1.

I hosted a Dutch policeman - in return of him hosting me twice (in 2006 and in 2008); and also I hosted a young Hungarian girl from Transsylvania. she is the member of the guest choir. being a host made me feel able and caring. and it was great.

2.

our choir sang at the royal palace on 13 december.

3.

any event where my kids showed off their gentleness and love.
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name three somehow unfortunate and/or memorable events of 2009.

1.

my son was rejected from the high school we tried to get him into. the reason (we do not attend church on Sundays) left me bitter and sceptic about church-based schools.

2.

house renovations do not proceed in the speed I expected.

3.

we hiked much less as we used to do, I'm out of practice.

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name three things your family/spouse/kids achieved/made/succeeded in 2009. (if you have many of these, feel free to expand the list from three to, say... ten...?)

1.

the house renovations are going on quite nicely.

2.

DH has become an appreciated person in his other field of study (no, this is not the professional field. He got his PhD like 14 years ago.) It's about his enthusiasm towards saving our traditions and culture that gathers him acknowledgement.

3.

my son has become number one in mathematics among all the members of the seventh grade. he started the seventh grade in a completely different school and he seems to fit into the community.

4.

my daughter took up folk dancing and she likes it.
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name three of your plans for 2010

1.

be there for the kids just when they need me.

2.

be more active in the renovations, push it go forward. the main aim is to be able to throw a house-warming party on our tenth anniversary of buying the house.

3.

follow the path. work on listening and following the voice. nurturing the voice by getting experiences. reading more. listening to others more. helping and getting involved more in general.

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now it's your turn. and of the years.

looking back

at year 2009 -

I am in a mood for recalling the major events of this year, but I have another, non-blogging-related task to finish first.

I would like to ponder and evaluate, but the job does not allow me to.

The job is to write an article on pruning apples and the like in about 6500-7000 characters. this is part of my regular job.

I read Hungarian poetry, listen to some music, sing to some of them, and cry. I think I had a useful and interesting year and I don't cry because I have any particular reason to. I am kind of allright and I know it will all get better once I wrote that bloody article.

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kind of thinking of making the year 2009 into a meme.

name 3 things-type of one with the passing year on mind.

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like...

name three things around the world that surprised you the most in 2009.

name three things you learned about yourself in 2009.

name three persons that had a great influence on your life in 2009.

name three events that came unexpected in 2009.

name three wonderful and/or memorable events of 2009.

name three somehow unfortunate and/or memorable events of 2009.

name three things you achieved/made/succeeded in 2009.

name three things your family/spouse/kids achieved/made/succeeded in 2009. (if you have many of these, feel free to expand the list from three to, say... ten...?)

name three of your own activities (actions) that felt you with the feeling of love in 2009.

name three of your plans for 2010.

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I'll be back with my answers in one or two days. I'm eager to see yours :)

Please feel free to leave out (or combine) any questions from the meme. If you have your own questions, do not hesitate to incorporate them into this self-survey. All I'm asking is that the focus should be on the brighter, more constructive side.

what happened to Santa Claus

it is a Hungarian tradition to put shoes into the windows on the evening of 5 December.
it is also a nice way to motivate kids to clean up their shoes for themselves.
along comes the night, when Santa Claus visits us silently and fills up the shoes with fancy chocolates, candies, peanuts, tangerines and other fruits. in some families, non-edible presents are also bought by Santa.
it's not for us.
all we get from St. Nicholaus is edible.
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also incorporated into our family's activities for 6 December was a visit from a 'real' Santa. it was the neighbour on the opposite side of the road. on a side note - unlike many other Hungarian families, we do know who our neighbours are, and we organize get-togethers every month or two. but that's another story. back to Santa Claus.
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our kids are not really small. they noticed two years ago that 'Santa' had a black sweater underneath his usual red costume. last year they noticed the fake moustache.
we told them Santa was generally busy, so he asked a man to come instead. i think they accepted it quite well.
this time we started suggesting our kids that they were growing bigger and that Santa had many other, smaller kids to visit.
we did polished our shoes however and put them into the window.
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so we, the parents filled up the shoes during the night and went to bed. we knew the kids would be up against the curtains on the dawn of 6 december - to see what they got from St. Nicholaus.
(we usually go to the windows together - it's not a race, after all... there are just enough delicacies for everyone in the family)
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I was kind of ill so i stayed in bed in that morning. i usually get up at 6 or 6:30, but now i was tired. we waited for the kids to tell us to go and see the soes in the window - just like they do every year. or the way they used to do.
because this year it was different.
my son came up to us and whispered: 'we can get to see the shoes now, because i have placed my presents there as well'.
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upon examining the contents of the shoes we did find a small pack of candies that were unknown to us, parents. it was what my son bought.
he never asked anything like: 'do you put the chocolate there?'...
he just grew up.
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for an earlier post on traditions around St Nicholaus in Hungary click on the tag 'Santa Claus'.

a very short poll

hi there, I need you answers, if there's anyone out there :))
in two of my recent posts I embedded a YouTube vide (one for each post).
the one below was a professional female chorus from Hungary singing an Ave Maria, the other one yet below was one of Eric Satie's Gnossiennes.
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question time:
can you see and hear them?
because I can't...
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St. Nicholaus is coming - is he not?

this is going to be a short post about whether it is appropriate to tell the kids the truth or let them believe what they do believe.
it might not be a short post, after all.
I'm on the run to take my daughter to the folk dance session she attends twice a week and after that, I will check out the latest version of the legos in a local toy shop, with Christmas in my mind, and still after, I will be practising with the chorus, although my head aches like it is about to explode.
and yet after, I might be able to write this post.
I love y'all,
your tree.
but before I go, here's one fantastic piece of music:

Franz Biebl's Ave Maria - these ladies sing like angels. I am truly stunned by their performance.

a little of each

the blurred image I worshipped
lingers still
this is you and this is not you
I thought...
for times on, I thought
I knew the object from the shade it caused
here...
you
the one I thought were
and the one
really are.
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