Happy Easter

We'll be away with a company of good Hungarians. We will visit a place between River Tisza and Bodrog. I hope to make nice pictures there and to share them with...you? or with myself as this place seems to be as alone as the most dense corner of an abandoned forest. Well, if that's where I'm living, so shall it be.
In my 'preface to the Tale of the Crow' I mentioned a 'news' that schocked me.
This happened last Sunday (1 April) but it was not a Fools' Day joke.

It was a report from an astrologist expert, based on my birth circumstances (exact date and location, you know how it goes.) While I assume most (if not all) of the atrology thingy of magazines are randomly selected crap, real astrology is a science, and stars and constellations do have an influence on our dispositions and approaches. Now, this lady, who made my report was so extremely on the spot re: my habits, feelings, good and bad thing alike - it might have been as well written by myself as well. It wasn't the usual and blah 'you like a job done well and you work hard' type of description. It did have insights into my real self - at least as far as I've been knowing and learning myself in the past 30-something years.

The most embarrassing and shocking, well, fact was that that referred to the main purpose of my life. Accordig to the belief, which I can not reject, which I believe in, one chooses his/her parents and his/her own way of life well before one's born.

This purpose might be 'spreading information and teaching people' - as it was in the case of my husband. Surprise, surprise - he's a teacher. But he grabs every single occasion to educate any people on any subject, to spread the knowledge.

One quickie: the astrologist had NO knowledge of my husband and me, just the time and location of birth.

Well, my goal was this: 'family'.

And this shocked me.

Partly b/c I was hoping for 'artistic improvement', 'self-development', 'self-education', 'spiritual development', 'achievement in some professional field' or something along these lines. And 'Family' shocked me partly b/c this is the exact are of my life where I feel biased, weak. Whenever possible, I try to avoid things that are strictly family issues. I don't feel like being a good mother at all. I've never been the type the Hungarians call 'hen-mother', referring to a mother who always takes care of her kids, of which she has many, she always ask about waht food/care can she possibly give to her kids, whose kids come up for her for comfort...who's always feeling love, who's warmth radiates through the house... I hope you got the meaning here.

I've been always considered a somehow cold mother...which does not seem really good, but that is how/what I am...

Now comes this astrology report, with all the things being correct about me....

I was literally sick on absorbing that....

I guess it's b/c the medication we need the most feels the bitterest...

b/c the thing we need the most as a medication is the one we want to avoit the most...

here I come...

this is what I am...