A course I might take

The course is called 'The hidden path of East and West: mystic and magical knowledge'.

In anticipation of the course I had the following thoughts on the train, on my way to the first session.

'I am waiting for anything that comes along. I seek knowledge, for I have been gathering knowledge over the years through books, lectures, personal experiences and through similar, scattered sources. The only difference is that now it is regular (bi-weekly) and there is a tutor.

I've decided to embrace all that comes, to let it sink and to select to keep all that fits into my universe. Because that's just about how I've been gathering knowledge so far.

Relevations do come sometime, though. Yes, there were moments/facts/events that shook my universe and made me find a new perspective. I am open to hear or experience things like that, too.

The course will be held by the same person who supervised the meditation I spoke about earlier here.

Talking about my potential attending of the course I mentioned two of my fears to my husband. Both proved unjustified and slightly, if not extremely, ridiculous. You might laugh at me. Here we go. Fear #1. Is it really time for such a course? Is the time ripe enough? Am I no too young? the logical answer, given by dh was that the sooner the better. Quite obvious, isn't it? Yet, there are things that needs good timing. Sometimes you'd like to start or do something and it just never fits into schedule. Some tend to say that when all the circumstances, including you as well (!) are appropriate for a particular thing, that will happen.

But behold! Fear# 2 was even more unflattering. (interruption: I'm attending this course with my MILO.) So, here we go, fear #2:What will my MILO think about my following her trait? Will she think that I'm simply copying her? Ok, you can laugh...

Pointless, unjustified and childish as these questions might seem - I have to consider them for their pure existence. I asked them because I am unsure. These funny questions reveal that I doubt my path. Despite that the fields and issues covered during the course are challenging, appealing to me. They might be a promise of a new horizon. Despite my conviction that this is one of the fields I should move further into. Despite my experience that dealing with and getting close to such knowledge does me good. Despite all pros I am looking for the cons. Is that normal?

My husband's answer to the 2nd question was just a laugh. And I laughed, too.'

And ...'the rest is silence'.