water go away

I confessed my dear part that I find that nothing and no-one makes me enthusiastic. I feel uninspired. I can not live life thoroughly. I feel almost nothing that surrounds me. A bit like a bell jar, thanks Sylvia for the word.
I know what I feel/write is dangerous. I mean what I say. At the moment I do feel like this. I'm sorry. Another moment comes and the feeling will be blown away. I know. It's just that that another moment does not come at this moment.

Sorry to bother you with my sillyness. This is me, like it or not. I'm not trying to be someone else. A bite of angst adds now to the mixture of apathy and dumbness. At the same time I'm as alert as any sleepwalker when awaken by a cold shower in the middle of his or her walk. Nice mixture, isn't it?

Did I just write dumbness? When I meant to say numbness. Nevermind. I am both.