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Well, chicken. As most of you probably know, we have a few chicken and we are renovating the house. Keeping animals is fun, educative for the children, relaxing to the tired, healthy for the body, lalala. Yet every now and then, diseases and pests might attack. I'd like to emphasize MIGHT. Can you imagine a time more suitable for an attack by chicken-mites than the middle of demolition? When we don't know which end of the track should we follow, when we spend almost all of our time breaking walls, cleaning and storing the bricks for further use, giving anti-fungus treatment to woods that will make the new ceiling, lalala...? We tried to kill those nasty bugs with burning a sulphur-band to no avial. They flooded the walls and laughed at our attemps in one of their many refuges. Finally we had to re-plaster the chicken house so as to deprive the mites from their hiding places. We re-furnished the inside of the house. We even made a new ladder (for chicks to sleep on). The fight against mites took 3 whole days and it's not yet oven. When all we have in the new part of the house is this:.jpg)
Wish to come over for a breath of fresh air wouldn't you, hm? I think the English says: 'When it rains it pours'. We say 'Trouble has a company' - (literally it is 'trouble does not walk alone' - 'a baj nem jár egyedül')
During the mites' attack, we lost 2 baby chicken of the last hatching. Now there are only five. They are named: Gray Dino, Pancake, Gofri, Jumper and Floating island (the Turken one). I think the names request some explanation. Gray Dino has received its name after a character in a PC-game. Pancake is just so lovely and yellowish as a pancake, Gofri looks like Pancake, only it's legs are thinner, Jumper likes to jump and Floating island, well we all love the food and so do we the little buff Turken chick. In case you did not know, a Floating island is a delicious sweet food, and gofri resembles pancake. But I have already told you that above :)
Above are photos of a Floating Island and a Gofri and below, of the hen and her 5. When they graze outside, they seem to be present everywhere, but when it comes to photographing, they turn into a buddhist garden - you can never see each and every one of the bunch at the same time.
Allright, I'm back to work again...
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Oh, that's sad about the mite attacks. Poor chickens.
I think you translated just fine. Did someone actually believe that? About the animals and all that?
Oh yes, I'm very much afraid so. People are just like that.
Excellent work with the dumb English! Can I give you a few friendly pointers? Being an American who deals with a large number of painfully ignorant people every damn day, I can help you translate just a little more accurately, if you'd like.
Man1: Dude, there's a country in Africa, where lions walks upright, have clothes on and speak like we.
"Dude" is an excellent way to start this out. That really sets the mood. Nice work.
The problem is, dumb speakers of American English would never use the words "upright" and "speak." Those words are too useful. Also, if you really want to dumb it down, occasionally substitute the words "like this" for the word "a." Also, add the words "and shit" to the end of any spoken list to really drive the point home. Observe the following:
Man1: Dude, there's like this country in Africa where lions walk on their back legs, and have clothes on, and talk and shit.
Man2: Nonsense. You telling me you believe it?
The word "nonsense" is another word that is rarely spoken in casual American English. We typically reserve that word for use in writing. This is by no means a rule, mind you, but you rarely hear it. When used in this context, substitute the word "whatever" or, if the speaker is particularly idiotic, you might try the phrase "Nuh-uh." That's signifies that your speaker borders on mental retardation. As a matter of fact, I would use it for the entire response.
Man2: Nuh-uh.
Man1. Curse I do. Av heard it over radio in the Jimmy and Johhny.
In America, the shortened form of "of course" is spelled " 'course", but your point is well made. Unfortunately, I don't know what "the Jimmy and Johnny" is, so I can't give you much help there. However, you can make excellent use of the standard moronic response to "Nuh-uh" which is "Yeah-huh." It asserts that the speaker considers whatever he's saying to be incontrovertible fact without requiring him to use the word "incontrovertible," which he will not be able to do.
Also, in America we no longer use the term "over the radio." This was used 60 years ago, and to be perfectly honest, I'm not sure how or why this little piece of our language was lost. We here in America, or at least in the midwest where I live, use the phrase "on the radio." This is true for smart and dumb alike.
The final conversation would look something like this:
Man1: Dude, there's like this country in Africa where lions walk on their back legs, and have clothes on, and talk and shit.
Man2: Nuh-uh.
Man1. Yeah-huh! I heard it on the radio in the Jimmy and Johhny.
Hope this helps!
Chris, this was just plain funny. I did laugh all the way. Thank you very much, I might wish to use these points whenever I wish to write again about dumb and his fellow, dumber.
'over the radio' is a term *I* use and I see now that I'm using it inproperly.
'Jimmy and Johnny' is a term I fabricated to substitute the actual name of the radio show. The actual name is the same-way combination of the two speakers, who hold the show (and ruin the radio), and they have like, normal names, but I intervened here again. I wanted to make it sound trivial, or add a 'nothing-special', 'the boy next door' feeling to it.
Thanks again!!
Trouble does not walk alone.
Indeed. I like your saying more. :)
Over here, cable channels occasionally air pseudo-science programs where some hack investigators study a fantastic topic. Because they know how to sound like scientists, people buy into it, because they don't know enough to see what's really going on. Those shows spread superstition and ignorance.
Your 'dumb American' conversation is great - and the commentor above has also given some useful tips on making it sound even dumber!
I'm sorry about your mite problem, but five chicks is still great...they look very cute.
Jason,
I find it interesting to see how different people view the same situation a bit different. In the British isles, trouble is connected to rainfall :)
Do you suggest that 'Trouble does not walk alone' is/sounds/feels better than 'Trouble has company', by the way?
What's your opinion about it?
Soph,
thanks!
Actually, I wrote 1-2 simple sentences in 'dumb American', but this is my first conversation. Chris really was hepful.
Yes, the remaining 5 are healthy and great. They are growing by the day. If you wish to see more, you can check the label 'animals' in my blog.
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