Home-schooling

This one goes out to Leigh. And to whoever else is interested in the homeschooling of my son. Also included: my rough notes on modern-day medicine.

Leigh asked me why I had to home-school my son.

My son has quite a history. At the middle of his fourth year he was in his fourth class, which, considering we never moved anywhere in these four years, is a bit too much for an average children. Which he is, of course, not.

He's alert, almost all the time in seek of something to occupy his mind. He's bright and when he's interested, he gathers information quickly. When he's not, nothing seems to be able to move him. That is what I see the core of problems.

Some say he's got AD/HDD (attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder) - no professional proof of that. We did not let him undergo tests to either prove or disprove this condition. Basically b/c I did not see any advantage of him being labelled as such. In Hungary, it is almost impossible to find a special school for these kids and at 'normal' schools labelled kids have misfortunate lives. Although the school he's now in advertises to provide a special treatment for ad/hdd kids, which involves a therapy with an expert, I have never seen the evidence of actual treatments, or rather put it this way, therapeutic sessions.

The second reason I rejected him having labelled is the pressure towards medication.

While many of my readers, residing anywhere in the world, may find taking medications just as easy and mundane as taking out the garbage bin or doing the laundry, for us, this is not the case. By 'us', I referred to my family. We do not take painkillers, I am not on the contraceptive pill as well. I have a firm belief that there are other, more natural ways to find remedy when it is needed.

Some of my son's classmates are on constant medication - be it Ritalin or anything else... I shrug at the mere idea of giving a drug to my son that ALTERS, INFLUENCES him.

I wish to solve the problem, if there is a problem at all, without artificial things.

I refrain from telling my opinion about modern day medicine - I bet you guess it must be somewhere between low and very-very low.

Schooling Story.

He started his first year in School 1.

Soon after starting school he was bullied, which he endured for a while, but broke out and became aggressive after a while. Soon he showed signs of aggressivity even when he was not hurted. He lost his interest in studying and became obsessed with kids being aggressive against him. His failed to perform up to his capacities. His drawings consisted of war, bloodshed, violence. Deep precipices, falling, aggression, death. Please note that we do not have a tv so he was unable to get those motifs from the films! A kid, especially a boy might draw things like that. But not all the time. This was not normal, we had to step in.

School 2.

The local Waldorf School.

The amount of acceptance he was given here healed our son. His drawings, ta-da, became normal again. He became a peaceful, loving kid.

For a while.

After that, he was bored. If you have been to a lesson in a Waldorf school you know what I'm talking about. I also was asked to sit through some of his lessions to check his behaviour. I was more than bored to tears myself.

No wonder he was bored. The teacher, although she was a loving creature herself, rejected the idea of giving my son some extra duties, some things he can work his mind on.

We parted School 2 with love, we still have the friendships we made there, the connections are alive.

School 3.

The local school, which is the nearest to our home.

We took our son here at the middle of the 3rd grade, when he was out from the Waldorf school. After a lengthy and interesting talk with his new teacher we decided not to introduce him in the middle of a school year - so he was homeschooled for the rest of the 3rd grade.

Coming from a Waldorf school I had no idea of what to teach him - but the teachers at this 3rd school were helpful with that. My son had to pass an exam at the end of the year to proove that he's elilgible to enter Grade 4 and I trained him to the exams. For your interest: there are not such exams in our school systems. It is especially for those who are home-schooled.

I taught him every day, covering Mathematics, Geography of Hungary, Hungarian Grammar, Hungarian Reading and Biology. I taught him for what was expected him at the exams. Each time his interest grew beyond, I followed him of course.

This is how his 3rd grade ended and at the 4th grade, he started as a 'normal' student.

School 3, Class 'b'.

He started as a normal student, but he was put into the class with all the 'problem kids'. Some of them are aggressive, some of them are the underachieving type (let me not say morons or idiots, but....) And yes, some of them are medicated. He soon developed conflicts with the kids and began disturbing the work of the class again. Nevertheless, his mates were not the accepting type, either. He just did not fit in. They rejected him, he rejected them.

I guess he had enough of the whole school thing by now.

From time to time he had to spend days or weeks at home, homeschooled. The teacher, with whome we developed a friendly relationship, showed me what lessons are to taught and I taught my son. He wrote exams at the end of all the home periods. He wrote them relatively well. He did have some hard times though, for example at the Waldorf school there are no lessons for home, but which is an everyday task in a normal school. My son have not developed a sense of duty to prepare homework, but that trait is a must in schools. That was tough.

School 3, Class 'a'.

At the middle of the 4th grade teachers and the director of the school decided to put my son into the parallel class. Here, most of the kids are 'normal', I mean, some of them are great, some of them are not-so-much, but nothing special. Except one or two, but that is okay.

He started doing much better here, but every now and then there are days when the teacher asks me to let him have at home, instead of sending him to school.

The reasons?

Lack of sense of duty, signs of boredom, etc.

He does not behave well, nor writes his homework and for these things he receives the worst marks. In Hungarian schools, school performance is measured by marks from 1 to 5, being the worst.

My son, according to his teachers, would perform at a level 5, or occasionally at a 'strong' 4 - but, due to his behaviour and lack of diligence, lack of homework, his marks are bordering 4 and are rather 3s.

The reason?

Lack of motivation.

There we are now, at the end of the 4th grade.

We, parents are looking forward into the 5th grade not without some fears - we pray not to show fear towards him, instead we try to encourage him and awake his sense of duty and 'normal sense'.

So, when we chose home schooling, we had no other option. The teachers were helpful and suggested me even ways of teaching and organizing a home-school day. I bet they were happier not to have my son around. Although most of the teachers seemed to have liked my son, they felt it was easier for them without him. Which is quite a shame. They chose the no-challenge option instead of the more difficult one. At the same time I know teaching my son is not easy. I know because I tried it.

The first photo was made by me, at River Tisza on 7th July, 2007. The second was by my son on 8th July, 2007.