we are having the 25 year high school graduation reunion this year.
yes, it's been that long.
there are two meetings, one tomorrow at the capital of Hungary, and on the 24 August at the city of the alma mater, hometown for me, and for most of the members of the class of 1988.
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at this point of one's life there are still a lot of paths available, but not as much as there were 25 years ago. the path is narrowing.
one might feel a tightening, a squeeze of possibilities, a terrible loss of all the could-have-beens...
but also, one might feel the strength coming from the realization that no more bullshit is allowed. this is it, and this is as good as it gets.
and also, for the lucky ones, there is a strong support of all the things achieved by one so far, all the validation of one's existence.
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as for me, i am torn somewhere in the middle.
one day i will be able to write about all the things i did not do, and all the things i still miss of not having done.
and one day i should be grateful for all the other things i have.
wait, i am not that nasty - i am grateful for lots of what i have today. and i mean relationships, persons and positions. i am grateful.
yet...
i think for one time of the year, for this one reunion day, one is allowed to weep over the loss.
to be able to elaborate and evaluate the so-called loss...
for if i had the things i do not have now, then i would not have all the things i acknowledge today.
and for this one reunion day, one is allowed to shed some tears for the dreams torn.
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there were 38 of us.
now there are only 37, for one man, still not much more, than a boy at the time of his death, was drowning in the sea near India.
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it appears that there will be only two of us tomorrow in Budapest.
the woman who's coming is one of my best buddies of the old days. i am looking forward to meeting her :)
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I have all these thoughts also... and I'm trying to ignore them. :-)
I had a great time in high-school and I keep in touch with some of my very good friends from then. But I think we can never really return to anything in our lives, nothing will be the same, a place, a person, a feeling. Best to keep the beauty, the laughter, the joy encased in that great memory...
That being said, I hope that you and your friend had a great time in Budapest and that only the happiness of good memories came to you. :-)
well, actually, there were four of us...but the other two failed at communication :)
anyway, we had a great time browsing over actions and feelings we had within the past 25 years.
interestingly enough, we did not recollect any highschool memories - these are only fading away..., but we shared things from our present.
this one lady for example spent 10 years living in the isles of Haiti and Dominica and you know, since it is quite a geographical, historical and cultural distance from the middle of Europe, we listened to her in amusement.
this is just one example :)
we had fun, a cheap meal at one of the street restaurants of the historical city of Budapest.
I have a morbid fascination with nostalgia. I always wanted to go to one of those American high school reunions portrayed in the movies. I like the desperation of the whole thing. But of course, yours sounds like a much more uplifting affair. I am a bit jealous of the woman who lived in Haiti and the Dominican Republic.
Anyway, all this is to say, hello.
So you are still around - thanks for dropping by!
There is a definite desparation, but it is like a veil, you lift it, and go on with your life.
There have been so many things, valueable, dear, and important that happened in the time AFTER high school... I don't want to trade them to any false hope or memory of youth.
:)
As for living in tropical climate: it makes me shiver, with all those bugs crawling into your house no matter what you do, and with all that heat all the time, which makes people lazy... not my business. ;)
But I gather lots of people like it for obvious reasons like fantastic flowers and so on...
Again, cheers,
SzF
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